each man must realize that it can all disappear very quickly: the cat, the woman, the job, the front tire, the bed, the walls, the room; all our necessities including love, rest on foundations of sand - and any given cause, no matter how unrelated: the death of a boy in Hong Kong or a blizzard in Omaha ... can serve as your undoing. all your chinaware crashing to the kitchen floor, your girl will enter and you'll be standing, drunk, in the center of it and she'll ask: my god, what's the matter? and you'll answer: I don't know, I don't know ... It's time to stop pretending. I've been sleepless for days. I have been finding myself building up with anger. "Everything is OK...", I keep telling myself, but we all know it's not. My heart is in flux, and my soul is uneasy. I want to sling mud. I want to clench my fist. But anger is not a solution, it is a cancer that plagues the deepest cracks in our armor. So what do I hold on to? I may have lost the battle, but the war is not over.