I enjoy getting scam spams from Africa as they're hilarious. They're the only spam I do enjoy getting and quite look forward to their arriving in my mailbox. And then it's giggles and guffaws galore.

Here's an example...

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Dear Beloved in Christ,
 
Peace be unto you all in Jesus name. I am Mrs Joyce Daniel  from Kuwait.It is by
the grace of God that I received Christ,Having known the truth, I had no choice
than to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God for eternal life and in the
sight of man Patterson G. Daniel of blessed memory who worked with Kuwait Embassy
in Sudan for Nine years before he died in the year 2000. We were married for eleven
years without a child.He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
Before his death we were both very devoted Christians. Since his death I decided
not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is
against. Since his death I too have been battling with both cancer and fibroid
problems.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum US$10.5M  (Ten
Million Five hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) with a Finance&Security Company in
London .
  
Presently, this money is still with the Security Company in london . Recently, my
Doctor told me that I have a limited time to live on earth due to my cancer
problem. Though what disturbed me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my
condition I decided to donate this fund to either a Christian organization or
devoted christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to
instruct here-in.
    
I want this christian organization or individual to use this money in all sincerity
to fund church, orphanages,widows and also propagating the word of GOD and to
ensure that the society upholds the views and beliefs of the holy Bible. The holy
Bible emphasized so much on GOD'S benevolence and this has encouraged me to take
this bold step. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will
inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my
husband's hard earned money to be misused in a way that it would not glorify the
name of our Almighty LORD. Relatives and friends have plundered so much of our
wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge
responsibility to any of them.
 
  
I don't want a situation where this money will be used in ungodly manner, Hence
the reason for taking this bold decision. I know that after death I will be with
GOD the most beneficent and the most merciful. I am afraid since so many things
are happening in the world now, like hurricanes,earthquakes, bird flu and the
Innocent and homeless people of the Tsunami disaster. I just want you to be open
minded and help me so that my funds can make a great change in the affected
peoples lives.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and
of the present of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to
know about this development. With GOD all things are possible. As soon as I
receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company. I will
also issue you a letter of authorization that will prove you as the original
beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the christian community where you reside
to always pray for me. My happiness is that I lived a life of a true devoted
christian worthy of emulation. Whoever that wants to serve the LORD must serve him
in spirit and truth .
  
Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give
me room in sourcing for a christian organization or a devoted christian for this
same purpose.
  
Until I hear from you, my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders.
  
May the almighty God  continue to guide and protect you.

Mrs Joyce Daniel

 

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Bwahahahaha! Truly hilarious! Not being christian, this doesn't push any of my emotional buttons, but it does push my funny button. What? Does "Mrs. Joyce Daniel" believe I just fell off the turnip truck yesterday? That I'm actually stupid enough to fall for this? As a scam spam, I give this a three and a half stars out of a possible four. It's very involved and chock full of unintended humor.