renovatio06's blog/

I had no idea: Pink is way cool! Not only cool, damn, she's sexy, bold, talented, beautiful, full of energy and apparently has a great heart! Wow! I so enjoyed watching this hell of a concert on the tube! You'll find a number of clips of that awesome show by entering this search string: on Youtube. Music rocks!

I was stuck in front of my damn machine all Saturday and through much of the night, while trying to get Windows XP running on my MacBook Pro. While I've mostly looking at the progress-bar of the backup-, partitioning- and installation procedure, I had the tube running and luckily came across this nice little gem. I really think, Jenifer Aniston does a nice, authentic job with her acting - in just about any move she's doing a part in. I really like her. Maybe you might like that piece, too.

I am on a business trip today to meet with potential collaborators. What we have been discussing is the most inspiring thing since I fell for music, although it's a purely intellectual thing with a huge, if not humunguous, selling potential.

I have to become aware of my very nature, what drives me and what turns me off, what my real goals in life are and whether or not I prefer to achieve them all on my own or in a collaboration with others. It's the toughest call since telling my ex-wife, I wasn't ready for family at the time. It will be an all-or-nothing-at-all call. If I go for this thing, I'm preparing myself to being fully immersed into it, little spare time, nightly "think-tank"-like power-sessions until the wee hours, work, work and then some, sometimes with, sometimes without tight deadlines and initially on a low budget.

Am I an idealist or opportunist? Do I still have the drive to follow through on what dreams I have? Am I ready to give it my all, my best, put my life into this? These are tough questions, which I had believed to have answered far sooner than now.

Wow - the questioning doesn't ever seem to end with me. What might sound like an intriguing personality feature bears a high potential for getting lost on the way. It's been mostly being lost until here. This could be a real turning point - if I give it all I've got.

Your take?

OK, I'll give in: I'll be a working week slut, just like everybody else. The system has won, I'll abide and quit thinking, I'm special in any way. I'll punch the work hours Monday thru Friday, and run my errands from 7 thru 8, wash my car on weekends, pay my bills and taxes and butter up my ass Sunday night, so being taken advantage of won't hurt as much come Monday. Once I've adjusted to the routine, I'll be thinking of playing some well-payin' music on the weekends, so I can afford to go waterskiing and on vacation. And I'll get my brains fucked senseless by booze and worldly distractions of all kinds. Speaking of fucking: Should the opportunity arise, I'll get my willie waxed with no regrets. It's a deal - long live the system!

P.S. Before I forget: I'll be an asshole and it's gonna be a blast! I wanna see tears in a co-worker's face at least once a week and I'll memorize that for the weekend to get a kick out of it a second time.

As of late, I found my interest in all things linguistics being rekindled. I have made new biz contacts, which might turn into something of quite some scope. It's a little early to tell, but if my previous assessment of what we might be collaborating on stands the proof of scrutiny, it might become huge. I am actually thinking about finding ways of going back to university for a PhD. Don't know yet, whether and how that can work, but the thought came up. Turning onto the academic route again, might be the perfect opportunity to dust off some old knowledge from my graduate studies and acquire an augmented theoretical framework for this new collaboration. AND - it might even help me find my place in life and make me more comfortable with myself and in answering the question of where I belong.

What inspires me about it is the fact that I might actually be able to apply all my previous work and college experience on the subject. It'll be a tough call workwise and there'll be plenty of it (work), but it looks personally gratifying and financially rewarding in the long run. Hm... Guess, I'll have to do some more pondering.

One thing, I still haven't gotten used to (and chances are, I never will) is to find that people leave you in the balance about the reasons for their rejection. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'd like to know where I've messed up with someone, if I do, you know? Isn't it bad enough that you are forced to feel their rejection - be it personal or in the professional realm? No, instead people like to give you that extra kick in the groin by not letting you know about their reasons for them to dislike you. IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY! I don't mean to say that I tend to rub it in with any given person, if I don't like them or don't want them around me. But if confronted, I don't have a problem to say. Likewise, I usually enquire, if somebody has a problem with me. However - I have found so far that people often don't return this token of respect and just leave you wondering. I HATE THAT from the bottom of my heart! URRGGGGG!

But I get the feeling, that's just the way it is - just like with so many other experiences that totally suck.

Prepare yourself for a way spooky read - this might as well have appeared in any given "New Age" gazette or publications of that nature. But it's a true account of one thing that's happened to me lately and to be honest, I don't have a good nor logical explanation for this:

Not too long ago, the DVD drive in my MacBook Pro reported that I have exhausted the maximum five times I can switch the region code for DVDs around. This is a standard procedure, by which Apple comply to MPAA copyright regulations. So far, so good.

As I prepare myself to setting the region code for the last time, after which it will remain permanently set to whatever region I choose, I get an error message informing me of a failed procedure. In other terms: The region code was not set. I tried repeatedly, but to no avail. The only reasonable conclusion I could come up with was to suspect the drive having locked in the region code prematurely. So I call the service-authorized dealer, who - there's my luck! - informs me that he has no other way, but to order a new drive and replace the preinstalled one. Mind you: Apple's one-year-warranty has just run out on me about a month ago, so I'm faced with about 500$ repair expense - of all things, pretty much the last one I'd need right now...

Regular visitors to my stream will already see me foaming with rage, jumping from my chair, screaming bloody murder across the little open space in front of my terrace - and rightly so. I couldn't believe it! WHAT-THE-FUCK-ELSE? I know, it's just things 'n all, but mind you: That Apple shit is really expensive! And their support services fall by far short of their excellence in industrial design. But what can I do? Nothing, exactly.

From mere exhaustion over adverse conditions over the past few weeks, I decided to let this issue sit for a while. After another few days, I called my insurance to find out, whether I'd be covered, if I should have to take this thing to legal measures. And again, my luck: No, it wouldn't be covered. BUT - I receive a free-of-charge consultation about this issue and believe-you-me, I was "draining" that lawyer on the other end and wouldn't rest until I had the whole thing down to a T.

So... another few days come and go, and I'm pondering this thing back and forth. I finally decided, I was gonna take it all the way, if I had to.

Now - today, out of the blue, I went for another try. I remembered an incident a few years back, where - believe it or not - a machine had blue-/blackscreened on me save any prior notification. At that time, I had been similarly frustrated and was about to snap on the fucking thing. That's the exact moment, when the computer shut down in an instant - while all other electrical gagdets in the house kept running flawlessly...

So... I sit myself down today and reach for a region code 2 (Europe) DVD. Here's the spooky part: Before inserting the DVD, I consciously concentrated on "a good thought", then slid the DVD in. Like before, the message comes up, prompting me to choose a DVD region for good. I unlock the function by entering my administrator's password... and ... it worked... IT WORKED!!!

Let me tell you: I would never believe anything like this, if it had not happened to my very self this very minute... (and I'm certain, I have NOT done anything to change the machine's condition in any relevant way, e.g. change access permissions or such a sort of thing...)

Spooky, ey?

No - I'm not talking about the Easter Spirit. I'm talking about an excellent documentary I'm watching right now: It's about the Carretera Austral, also called President Pinochet Highway, a 770 mi road along the Southern Pacific Coast of Chile in Latin America. It is a road frequently travelled by adventurers, who are headed to Patagonia. Besides the many stories of sacrifice, frugality, oppression, illness and death among the people who lived there and/or were involved in the construction of this lifeline, particularly one story got all my attention: Former businessman turned environmentalist Douglas Tompkins: Quite an example to admire and the man himself being a role model in how our lives don't have to revolve around consumption all the time. Check him out on Wikipedia - it's quite an interesting read!