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July 18, 2007

Wanna see the future?

No, hell no! Cuz if I did, this sure as heck wouldn't have happened: Went to another of a gazillion doctors' appointments I'm having as of late. She's a gastro-enterologist and apparently top-notch in her field. And actually quite attractive, too. With good taste for interior design and in a chique downtown Munich location (a quiet street in Nymphenburg). My regular lady doctor from Herrsching sent me to see her on behalf of my long history of gastro-enterologic problems and diseases I've had for the past 30 years and which have reduced my quality of life considerably, to the point where I'm repeatedly having enough and just want to die. So anyway, she comes up with fresh approaches to my problems, which I'm most grateful for and presents herself as compassionate, caring, competent (Memorize the three-Cs when seeing any doctor, cuz frankly anything less is just a waste of time AND money). In doing so, she suggests a number of check-ups that haven't been done so far and I gratefully agree, happy to find new hope and eventually deliverance from what has been plaguing me for most of my life. She goes "I'm going to examine you now. Please alert me immediately, if anything hurts or feels uncomfortable". Says it, and prompts me to turn sideways on her examination bank, slips over her rubber gloves, goes for a brief "this is probably the most uncomfortable part of this, I'm going to examine your rectum" and before the phrase is finished I have her index and middle finger in that exact same body cavity. Y-I-K-E-S!! Holy shit! (fortunately, not...) "And while we're at it, I'm briefly going to check your prostate, as well". In the matter of split seconds I'm being sent to a flash of unpleasant body sensations that the gay guys amongst us rejoice in so much. For fuck's sake...! The good news: I'm absolutely positive, I'll never take a liking in any homosexual activities (no offense meant towards the gay community!), not in this lifetime, not for any insane amount of money or any other reason - I'd rather have my life taken than repeat this. You live and learn - my ass! (Literally...)
Published at 20:49 / 10 comments / 158 visits
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