renovatio06's blog/

Today, my provider activated the higher bandwidth capacity of new cables that have been installed for the past two weeks. So as of today, I'm surfing the web at 16 Mbits/s and can upload stuff at 1024 Kbits/s. Wow - that's fast!

(Sorry, Nicole - didn't mean to rub it in...)

edit#1: I noticed today that I yield download speeds at up to 800 kbyte/s... that's pretty major... It means, required software updates download a LOT faster than before, e.g. updates of operating system components and such... hewee!

My god, what's going on? Somebody must have flipped the switch from summer to fall in less than a week... It was in the upper 60ies, lower 70ies last week, and now I'm sitting in my flat with a hot cup of tea and dressed in a pullover, the heating is on and it's a mere 46 F outside... No! Too early! Gimme some sun and heat back!

I am a writing professional. Hence, I spend considerable amounts of time in a seated position behind my computer screen. For the longest time, I have been looking for an ergonomically designed and comfortable office chair. While this may sound fairly straight-forward and not too hard to achieve, I have had to learn the do's and dont's with that particular peace of furniture. For example: You don't want arm-rests, if they keep you from moving close enough to the table in order to reach for your keyboard and rest your arms next to it. Or this: Sometimes, you may want to lean back, when not being in the midst of typing something up and just think. While most chairs offer a moveable back rest, the actual "platform", where you sit on, doesn't move. Now that's not too comfortable, because it gives you the feeling of sliding off the edge of your chair.

But Buerostuhl24.com heard my plea and came to my rescue. So, as of today, my behind has found a new, comfty place to be rested on during those long, 12, 14, lately rather 16 hour days in front of the machine. I'm glad, I finally found an item that'll allow me to work in a comfortable position. I hope to be even more productive this way :-D

... no, not literally, of course ;-) I'm referring to a movie I watched again this afternoon: Rumour Has It, starring the adorable Jennifer Aniston. I think, I just fell in love with her, so wonderful and witty is her performance in this one! Her million faces in just about any second of the film is just first-class entertainment! Her and one of her counterparts, the equally adorable Shirley MacLaine, outplay each other (I have no idea, whether Shirley MacLaine is a diva and would hate my guts and kick my balls in for this statement - but aren't I lucky, I will most likely never know )

Anyway - I highly recommend this one for about two hours of hilarious comments, funny twists and watching Ms. Aniston pulling faces - just great! Oh, and here's my favourite quote of the movie: "Life has to be a little nuts sometimes. Otherwise it's just a bunch of Thursdays strung together." Nuff said, I'd say.

For reasons I can't totally identify, the passing away of European Jazz Legend Joe Zawinul saddens me more than I would have expected. It would be a bit hypocritical to say that I was a die-hard fan of his, although I appreciate his style next to his tremendous contributions to the world of music in general and the Jazz in particular.

I think, I might be so moved by his bio, because he managed to accomplish the unthinkable (at the time): As a _white_ European he emigrated to the States in 1959 and lived and married into the black community. I mean, we're talking the 60'ies, where people of color had to sit in the back of the bus, weren't allowed to use public restrooms and weren't addressed other than with the "N"-word. You can expect a lot of resentment going on between the ethnicities.

And here comes a white guy from Europe on a piano scholarship and is accepted as one of their own, to the degree that shortly after having commenced his studies Jazz celebrities of that time invite him on stage and on tour. He even got to play with _the_ first name in Jazz, the great Miles Davis. From a (jazz-) musician's perspective, how good can it possibly get?

Yes, I think there's my reason for relating to his life: This man has accomplished living the dream I had when I was a band-playing teen, dreaming of teaming up with big names and getting around and touring with great bands and great (black) music.
Most of the obituaries are in German so far, but my God, you can literally "feel" the sadness in the words of music colleagues, politicians and dignitaries... There's a wonderful quote by his son Erich, on his father's moving on:

Joe Zawinul was born in Earth time on 07 July 1932 and was born in Eternity time
on 11 September, 2007. He, and his music, will continue to inspire!"

Shine on, Joe, you'll certainly be missed.

Today was really a crappy day: I had the privilege of running into at least two major assholes. Assholes are a pest in this world and should be prohibited by law. At first, someone coerced me on the highway. There's always a little congestion at the end of the highway when going towards downtown Munich. Two lanes narrow down to one. According to a law that was passed some two years ago, you have to let cars move over, one by one. That means, if you're on the left lane, every other car on the right lane must make way to let another one in. Not so this asshole: Apparently he has a contract on the road that got shipped with the car. So I honked the horn. No reaction. I rolled down the window and yelled to wake up, fucking bumfuck. He signals something to get in line after him. Alright, Mister, you picked the wrong guy!

So we get on the inner city beltway, and all of a sudden he drops the pedal as if in a rush or something. Nice thing, he had to go the same way as I, so I followed him and confronted him at the next red traffic light. Shut down my car, while the light was red, stepped over to his car and swung the door open in one swift swoop and kind of barked at him, whether his driving license came with his pension cheque (kind of an older guy,what else is new...?). Ha! You could tell, he wasn't expecting THAT! (well, strictly speaking, this action of mine isn't all kosher, either and might even be interpreted as invading someone's privacy, but so what).

And tonight, I had the farmer barking at me for - get this! - riding my bike over a mown meadow and carefully making sure I wasn't messing up the little stacks of hay. But the guy was fat and slow, and I just barked back at him and took chances. I wouldn't have run, though, as pumped as I was. Would have been the perfect way of venting the morning fucker.

Is it that people have become this way in this country, or is it just me, having failed to see things this way before? Whatever the reason, I swear, sooner or later someone's gonna taste a mouthful of blood - and it sure as hell ain't gonna be mine! HARRRRRR (Tim Allen-like ;-))

P.S.: Yes, Sherry - purple face time... LOL

P.P.S.: However, I managed to get some nice images, too, later on. So the day wasn't all wasted.

I chose this place to share some of my photography, the latter - amongst other reasons - being a tool of self-"medication"/healing. I do appreciate visitors coming by my stream for that, leaving comments of any kind pertaining to that, letting me know, when or whether they approve or disapprove of my images. If the latter, I'd appreciate you to give reasons, so I have a means of improving my skills.

I do NOT - read my lips - NOT approve of instrumentalizing my stream for anyone to gain information about me in addition to that primary purpose. In particular, I do not appreciate anyone, male or female, getting in touch with me for reasons of wanting to find out whether I'm "available". This includes in particular questions pertaining to

- my marital status

- whether or not I have family.

- whether or not I have a girl-friend, boyfriend, seeing someone or not

- whether or not I have a place to stay of my own

- what I do for a living, other than what I've indicated in my profile.

If a given visitor or contact of mine considers this platform as yet another dating-tool, I'd kindly ask you to remove yourself from my list of contacts and get lost. I mean it. Don't come back. And since some might have needed to know (and since I try to be polite as often as possible): NO, I'm not available at this point, the reasons of which are none of your business. Thanks for listening.

Something's happening. I can't quite say, yet, what it is - but it's definitely a good thing. I feel as if I were on the verge of becoming "whole" again, complete, self-sufficient (hopefully without its accompanying qualities of being self-absorbed or self-righteous... ). I get to embrace my days again, my choices, my little baby-steps (borrowing this term from Sherry) towards a full life. Where "full" doesn't necessarily mean material things - although I don't mind them at all, they give you a certain amount of freedom -, but where the little things last: Today was an exceptionally bright and warm early autumn day, with absolutely clear blue skies, mild temperatures, bugs and bees buzzing, the sweet smell of fall in the air, the light being - well, I have to repeat myself here - just exceptional. Not only was I able to notice all that, it filled me with a sense of appreciation for everything there is. As if someone had whispered in my ear: "It's alright, let go now."

I went on with my day in that feeling, doing some work in the morning, finishing early and using the remaining credit on my waterskiing voucher in the afternoon. What an experience! I remember having continued to go there last summer mostly for the ride on the boat to the offshore platform, where we would do our laps. I will always remember the first time I went out with the group on the boat, listening to the roar of the 360 hp engine, feeling the wind on my face, hearing the emanating surf from the water surface being cut into by the weight and shape of the boat we all sat in or huddled together on the baggage platform. I will never forget the sensation of being alive I felt, when coming around a turn and being overwhelmed with the open view on the entire Alpine mountain panorama! Gosh! What a thrill!

Today was a more quiet day, only a few guys wanting to "travel" to the platform, but the conditions were nice. My first lap was a warm-up, because I haven't been water-skiing all that much this summer. The second lap... oh my god - I certainly don't mean to brag, but let's just say it went so well, it caught the attention of the boat-owner and my fellow sportsmen out there - smooth like butter, fast like the wind, hard on the edge like a catamaran in an upcoming storm. No - I really don't mean to brag, all this is about is sharing the experience.

But on yet another level, it wasn't about dexterity, about regaining strength and some physical shape, no, none of that. It's the balance of powers falling into place for me, running through me and filling me with the sweetest of all vibrations: LIFE!

No bragging, either, but it was another marvellous autumn day. Running errands after a short night (the latter getting me to my physical limits...) and then off to the lake to do another two or three laps. The water surface was like a mirror, so it couldn't have been any better. But I'm digressing.

After having enjoyed the open water, the sun, the company on the platform and the mere fact that I can go there and enjoy myself almost WHENever I can (really, I just mean to be grateful, not a show-off...), I spontaneously decided to go watch a movie in Starnberg. I decided for a piece by a local/regional director, who managed to land an unexpected summer box-office hit with "Wer früher stirbt, ist länger tot" - meaning something like "The sooner you die, the longer you're dead". But the title doesn't do the story justice, much less its touching message and the simply incredible performance by the actors, most of them not even trained ones, but being cast off the street as it were. Anyways, the new movie is called "Beste Zeit"/ Best of Times and it transported exactly that kind of "Lebensgefuehl", where Lebensgefuehl denotes a feeling specific to a generation or a given phase of one's life. Ten minutes into the moving, tears started rolling down my face from laughing hard or crying with empathy - I consider my 8 "Eurobucks" well spent, that's how the movies should be and no less!

I'm aware that most of you will never get to see the film, as it will most likely not make the international stage for its dense local color and the story being tightly integrated with the area it takes place (funny enough, I recognized a lot of places where I've lived before, somewhere north of Munich, around the airport).

I can safely say, there hasn't been a movie that has ever moved me more than this one! For two reasons: a) The performances are simply incredible! b) Have I mentioned incredible? They're in-fucking-credible! And c) the movie made it apparent to me that I have missed out on an entire part of my life. Now, I am being told and have learnt to some degree to look at the bright side. Ok. So I'm doing it: I never wanna miss out on living another single second to the fullest! If it isn't that, I'll move on to the next experience.

And d): I realized that at this point in my life, I have no idea, where I'll be going - or if I'll be going anywhere for that matter. But for the first time, it doesn't scare the shit out of me. Quite the contrary: I see it as a privilege, a fine gift, a treasure. I don't know where I'll be going and it doesn't matter - as long as my heart is in it.

(What a shame the movie won't get translated and make it outside of Germany or German speaking countries...)

People take advantage. That's a fact. They try to take advantage of you, whereever they can. You have a pleasant conversation one minute - be assured, a wish or demand is gonna follow on its footstep.

So, from now on, I solemnly declare: I will never, ever again, do anything for anyone unless they pay me. The currency doesn't necessarily have to be money. But something has to come in return - whatever that particular person can spare.

I've been taken advantage of just one time too many now. You want something from me - you pay. Simple as that. No exceptions from here on. Oh - and before I forget: That ESPECIALLY includes all things love and friendship, as well as my time.

Awwww...../ my, my, my, my....!!! Life can be good! Geez - have I mentioned I'm about the little things? Well, in this case: I've found a TV-station on the satellite dial that airs music from the 80ies and 90ies all day long! Yippeeee-hooorayyyy!!!! I'm right back in the 90-ies, where everything happened that told me, I was alive!

And, yay, you bet: It's pumping my blood right down there, where the "twins" found lodging - ROFL!!!! :D

P.S.: Think, I need to go down to the basement and get my old turntable along with the power-amp and digitize all my old records... Damn, I've been putting that off for far too long!

P.P.S.: I'm having such a ball with this TV station! This is way cool! I'm loving it! :-D

Shoot - I never knew... I can have a party with myself :-D What do you think I could do with company...? ;-)

... is most likely a classic hangover... Darn, I had forgotten my personal limits of intake where so narrow... (or am I mistaking 25,3 ounces/0,75 liters of white wine for little volume?). And to make things worse: I forgot, I had a full dental appointment this morning, which I had been procrastinating two times already, so I went there on a weak stomach and heavy head and 90 minutes of dental treatment to get through ... Let's just say: Mind control comes in handy in some situations...

Gotta rethink my timing next time I'm having a party with myself...

Welcher Kinogänger würde nicht den Slogan "Nichts ist härter als die Wahrheit" aus den BILD-Zeitungs-Werbeclips kennen? Genial aufgegriffen und für die eigene Aussage adaptiert hat das der BILDblog, Deutschlands wahrer Hüter der Wahrheit.

Nun hat der BILDblog sogar seinen eigenen Werbespot. Vollkommen genial!

(gefunden über CP-Blog)

Sorry - no English this time. This is a German thing, wouldn't work for most audiences outside of Germany/German speaking countries.

... sagt mobilkom austria-Chef Boris Nemsic. Ich finde, Herr Nemsic hat da eine wirklich gesunde Einstellung zur tragbaren Telefonzelle mit Fingertapper-Garantie.

This is one of the days, where it would have definitely been a lot better to stay in bed the entire day:

While having breakfast, the makeshift dental filling falls off, leaving me with a hole in my tooth that easily accommodates the tip of my little finger. So, no choice: Had to go back to the dentist and get it redone. Contrary to what I'm used to in his practice, there was a wait time of 45 minutes this time. Then the treatment, where he had to get another imprinted model of the affected tooth, because the one we had taken yesterday had broken. To sum it up: I don't get to leave there until about 90 minutes later - which is 90 minutes less left to do a job with a deadline for this afternoon.

After having run some quick errands - I'm already pissed as it is, so what's the big deal... - , I return home and get ready to go right at my work. Just to be sure, I run a quick check of my internal hard drive, being alerted by Sascha's post yesterday. What else is new? Of course, my disc needs fixing, too... At this point, I'm not making too much of that, yet, and reach for the DVD that got shipped with my MacBook Pro - only to find, it will mount, but not boot (and booting from DVD or another external disc is mandatory in order to fix the internal drive). So I turn on my backup drive, only to find it's not a bootable one. Copy some of its contents to a DVD, which I burn using the internal disc burner, but... the contents of what I copied don't fit on a single-layer recordable DVD. So I remove stuff in order to accommodate everything that's essential to booting from external DVD/disc. However - for reasons beyond me, the self-made disc won't register as bootable, either. As I'm running out of ideas at this point (and after having run all other tests available to me, like PRAM reset, power manager reset, holding this and that key on startup...) and on a more than tight schedule - have I mentioned all these measures have already taken well over an hour? - I call Apple's helpline. Regular procedure is: Wait loop for at least 10 minutes (on MY charge, of course...), then I first have to talk to an agent who idles around with me, apologizing for the wait time, complaining about his own system having gone down, bla-bla-bla, bottomline: I've been on the phone for about 20 minutes already without even having addressed my problem, yet, let alone heard any solution to it. (And did I say, we're talking EURos here ticking away per minute?)

I know, all our time is limited, so let me cut a long and beyond frustrating story short now: In total, I have been on the phone with their help line for 50 - that's right: FIFTY!!! - fucking minutes only to learn, that apparently my DVD/CD drive seems to have a hardware related malfunction, I'm supposed to turn in my machine at a service authorized dealer to get the internal DVD drive checked, and should he confirm a malfunction, they will replace the drive.

Does anyone care I make my living with that thing? I can't afford to have it gone for a week plus? I suggested sending me a replacement DVD instead, which I would have even paid for. Yeah, right, they could do that - at the insignificant amount of EUR 199,-...

Can you tell, I'm pissed beyond belief, ready to start a bloodfest with the next best guy in the street? Boy, how I hate being dependant on ignorant people and faulty gadgets... I think, 15 years in the IT business have well worn me out.. I'm seriously thinking of a new "career".... FUCK APPLE, FUCK THE OTHERS, TOO, FUCK ALL THIS IT-NONSENSE! I HATE MY JOB! I WANT A NEW LIFE!

Edit //Closure//: Fortunately, this episode found a good ending: After having consulted a service-authorized Apple Dealer, one who has been delivering very good service in the past and whom I've been working well with, I called their helpline again, today. There was barely any wait time, after I had told them the Case ID and they agreed to sending the correct DVD right away. So - there's hope. But I have to go ahead and purchase the extended warranty now - this little anecdote was a wakeup call...

This is the time, I can feel it inside: I'm about to move on. Which may also include cutting off most of my previous contacts depending on how I'm being received and treated. Funny, I've sought that fresh start about half a year ago, by trying to move to a different country. I figured it to be easier then. On the other hand, it would have been a bit cowardly, too.

It'll be interesting to find, what's going to happen when I start this process of consolidating my relationships - or what's left of them in some cases. Some of them already appear like dead skin that needs to be peeled. Others begin to feel like clothing that doesn't fit anymore and needs to replaced. But without meaning to rush to premature conclusions, one thing is for sure: I am not the same I used to be. This may not become too apparent in day-to-day situations, but very obvious in all things related to anything emotional. Some might argue, I'm not being emotional at all. I would have to agree to a certain degree. This next stage of my life is not going to be about heart and soul. It's going to be about me and getting what's mine. I will put myself first and not feel bad about it any more. For now, this is taking all my attention and strength. Naturally, there's no room for anyone in my life besides me right now. Egotistic? You bet. It was about time...

I am soooo thrilled! I have mentioned finding a new TV station on the dial before, which airs all music from the 80ies, 90ies and beyond. For the first time in my life, I get to see videos of music tracks I was totally head over heels with at the time: Anita Baker, Michael McDonald, some Michael and Janet Jackson, Ruby Turner, Eternal, the incredible "Slave to the Rhythm"-production by Trevor Horn with Grace Jones doing some ad libs, Babyface, Karyn White, Barry White, Quincy Jones, Jonathan Butler... the list goes on and I'm almost shrieking with excitement over this gem of music history! Oh my God, how I was - still am - in love with the groove side of music! More than with anything in real life - I wasn't too popular with the girls, so I dreamt about being a part of all of this, you know, being given a break with one of my songs, making it to the big stage and being at eye level with all the loves of my teenage and early twen years! Awwww - this is so great! (Come to think, one of the guys I met with later, when having moved out of my hometown first thing, when I turned 18..., well, he made it further and actually is a recording artist today: He told me about an encounter with Janet Jackson one day, whom they had been supporting act of - my God, only thinking about standing in front of her at the time is still good for a near-heartattack today... :-))

And here's the entirely different alternative draft, one which is actually a lot closer to what being a musician in a rural environment is like - and which, at the same time, is light-years away from what my dreams looked like: A book by a German guy from one of the less popular parts of Hamburg, Harburg, which might be considered the uncool suburb of downtown Hamburg: Heinz Strunk, "Fleisch ist mein Gemüse". Now, this is one of the those cases, where a literal translation doesn't transport the joke at all (which happens very often with German versions of American movies...). So, let me give it a try in offering a translation that hopefully will get some of the intended allusions across, here's my version: "Side-orders suck" or "Side orders are for pussies", something like that... ;-) Anyways, I started the book last night / this morning at 2.00h am, after an ironing marathon of no less than 3,5 hours, during which I even managed to bake a cake for the next day. Anyway, the book has me laughing so hard on almost every page, I'm panting from being out of breath and my lungs are burning! This is just too much! It's such a cruel and brutal account of this guy's "youth", which finds him still living at home at age 23, suffering from pimples, not exactly looking like a lady's man, lacking a driving license and idling away his days with excessive sleep and beer consumption, while being exposed to his mother's occasional amonitions... Lord, have mercy! Like I said, it's hard to get the points across, as many of the funny expressions used are individual creations of the author, and moreover, closely linked to the rural culture and its queer/strange characters, so it's hard, if not impossible to translate even parts of it. But rest assured, this is "seriously funny" shit - honestly, I haven't laughed like this in years, if not decades! I feel so reminded of some of the episodes being depicted, I'm torn between embarrassment and exhilaration... Could it be that my parents had saving me from this kind of life in mind, when not exactly encouraging my musical endeavours?

Well, this chapter's in the past anyway, so no worries here. But really, having these two contemporary witnesses at hand has sent me on a time travel and rewinding my attitude towards life for about three decades... ;-). So, always remember: Side orders suck, go straight for the main course! ;-) (the equivalent of which I'm still trying to identify in my life... :/ )