I've been flattering myself into thinking, I was quick to grasp things. I now have to admit to myself (and all of you reading) that I'm not - I'm naive... still. Hard to believe, but unfortunately, it seems to be a fact. In the current case, we're talking about business expressions. For all of you, who aren't exposed to business speak, here's a little vocabulary help. Let me give you five introductory examples - (a) will be the expression used, b) what's actually meant by it:
1 a. "Can I call you back?"
1 b. "Get lost, will ya? And don't come bothering me again - ever!"
2 a. "What can I do for you?"
2 b. "You're already getting on my nerves - you think, I'm much inclined to hear you asking a favor of me?"
3 a. "This will take no more than a minute."
3 b. "Unless they don't invent everlasting youth and eternal life in the body, don't bother waiting on this to happen."
4 a. "It's my pleasure!"
4 b. "I'd like to feed your guts to my overweighed cat and throw the vomit she'll produce into the fish tank."
5 a. "Will you be here another minute?"
5 b. "You don't get, when you're no longer welcome, don't you? Just fuck of, o.k.?"
I was used to similar expressions in the music scene, and they go something like this:
1 a. "Hey, can I call you?"
1 b. "I'll never bother to keep your phone number, let alone give you a call."
2 a. "Can we do something together?"
2 b. "I'd rather build me a spaceship and fly to the moon than sit in together with you."
3 a. "Ey man - great solo!"
3 b. "My grandmother - God have mercy on her poor soul - just turned in her grave hearing the sad crap you're playing on your instrument - don't you have a heart for people?"
This just to get you started. I'm sure, you're smarter than me - you'll figure out the rest. Happy translating!
P.S.: From now on... anyone who treats me like I was stupid and didn't know above... boy, you wish you'd be stucked in a pile of shit face first instead, when I'm done with you...