I am a fervent student of procrastination and a pseudo-intellectual, and when forced I have many talents, one of which is to feel like I can accomplish anything.
I'm also a good friend to have, because only the last years I start to think in terms of "what I offer vs. what I get". Must say that this attitude is contra-productive, seeing that people cannot offer much, or never think of it or mainly are only preoccupied with *getting* as much as they can (and save it for a later day, when "life will start") I end up doing nothing but waiting... So I usually remain very humanitarian of sorts, because there's more joy in the activity itself than the accounting.
When the Gods allow, I'm also a father.
I have a terrible ex and a wonderful girlfriend.
I'm also an aspiring creator. (That's my way of saying I have a passion for writing, composing, organising, anything you can dream of, but not so much for realising it). This has to do with a childish attitude of mine, the joy of doing things together. BUT... sharing things in an enthousiastic way (the word says it already, "godly") is not possible for me when the others are not in the same wave length or level... I can't play the teacher or the student (after my 30's) for the things of the greatest enjoyment. I keep teaching & learning for what it is and not as a surrogate for sharing.
My studies of procrastination show that it is best to do things only at the last moment. That increases the adrenaline and motivation. But because I also like balance & taking responsibility, I also love *preparation*. I prepare already years in advance for opportunities that would be nice to have. Opportunities come when they like, it seems. So if you can't see them at the right moment, they are lost and you didn't even notice. Not good!
This makes my life a continuing experiment and play. Also means that if I'm lost in my thoughts, it is always for some far future condition that may come and my reaction to it. Never about the present. Somehow I can't think about the present. I can only realise and act (or... not realise and not act :-DDD). I prefer that the future occupies my thoughts, because it's an optimistic and positive activity, even when a darkness hangs above this future, the war against it is raging in my head and if I have no chance of winning, I avoid the way leading to it today.
I obliged myself since my youngest years to view my partner as "the last one". That would ensure total involvement, concentration and even identification with her. I considered that as "good". I didn't find adultery nice, not because someone told me so, but because I didn't want to cheat myself. As a partner is "my other self" there was no joy in illicity...
Nowadays, having tasted a divorce and not being able to oversee the consequences on my principles, I begin with another premiss: this partner is "the next one". It makes life easier, keeps awake, allows for a relation and not an identification and it doesn't take away anything. There's nothing taken for granted and no silent expectation. It feels better like this; only want to see if it works....
Before coming here I was a member on Flickr. But became pissed off with the whole affair that many of us know. Though not a victim of their practices myself, found their lack of a clever/creative solution (and disrespect towards the clients and the public) very annoying. It made me feel very dependent on the capricious will of a violent thief of my money and good spirits. Bliah!!!
Came here after some German guy linked to ipernity and of course I couldn't resist. The layout, the numerous possibilities, the people springing here & there, the very fresh and tasty way of doing things, the visible ipernity-team, the friendliness and class of the members, the perpetual improvement of functionality. The tent is happy :-) and it makes me happy too!
Sine Casu et Amore Ars non est!
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