Panayotis Published on June 24, 2007
by Panayotispro

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Flickr love story

Sunday June 24, 2007 at 11:09PM

The following was inspired by the last "censorship incident" at flickr (see also this for a nice summary of how I felt) but it is much more general I think

Stewart and Mary are together since high school. They are the kind of couple everyone is jealous of and would bet that they will stay always together. And actually the only reason they haven't got married yet was that Stewart couldn't find a stable job (he is a photographer). But this was about to change. Thanks to Mary he now works for Playboy and he earns enough money for them to get married and build the house of their dream.

She was very happy. At last all her sacrifices were about to yield fruit. She spent many years working day and night to support both herself and the expensive art of Stewart. And she required a lot of effort to ask her uncle who had behaved very bad to her in the past to hire Stewart for this open photographer position in Playboy. Of course, she had hesitated a little thinking of all these beautiful and famous women that would get naked in front of Stewart. She had heard many stories about the relationships between photographers and their models. But she was so sure about their love. And she could even accept a small infidelity as long as he returned to her and always loved her. He was a man in any case.

Nevertheless, she couldn't believe she would actually live the nightmare of every woman whose partner works as a model photographer. But yes, when she returned home that day she saw Stewart and Pamela in her new bed just after what was obviously not a friendly conversation. But it was not this that hurt her the most (she had already accepted this possibility in her mind anyway). What she couldn't understand was Stewart who was smoking calm his cigar and was smiling to her. She lost the world under her feet.

Stewart knew that this would happen. But it was almost a month that he was trying to tell her that he didn't want to continue their relationship. He felt very guilty but the truth was that he was not in love with her anymore. And they both always praised the importance of truth in a healthy relationship. So, what he could do? This was the truth. His new life was so promising and Mary couldn't be part of it. He couldn't stand her reminding him of all the things she had done for him and all the things he had said in the past (but now regretted for them). He wanted to enter "clean" and fresh in this new glamorous world. He was so grateful but not in love. This was the truth. And although it was very difficult for him, he did his best to make Mary understand. It couldn't be more clear than this. He wanted her to leave him alone to enjoy his new life.

So, he was surprised when Mary started to ask weird questions:
"Why did you make me see this? I told you I don't care about small infidelities. You could explain to me and I would accept it. I just want you to love me. This is all I ask. But this ... in our bed ... the time of day you knew I would return from my work. Why?? I have done so many things for you! How can you treat me like this?"

This was more difficult than he expected. He should actually spell out the truth. And this was something he wasn't prepared to do. But he made an effort:
"Look Mary. I love you. But I am not in love with you. I need to enjoy my life. Our relationship gives me a lot of pressure. I cannot stand it."

He felt very proud of his courage and relieved that now Mary couldn't do anything else but leave. But when he saw the first tear coming out of her eyes he added: "Of course, if you can accept a free relationship we could continue to see each other. I will always love you."

Mary hugged him and said "I love you so much! I can do anything you ask me! I just want you to love me! Nothing more"

Stewart hugged her also. But his mind was elsewhere ... he just made a big mistake.

(to be continued)

5 Comments / add your comment?

♥ Colpo di fulmine ♥ says:
hat is so self sacrificing, but not ideal. Mary should not give herself so desperatly to a man that is not in love. I assume she loves him so much that she indeed, has become blind.

and Stewart should never hide his feelings. whether he loves her or not, he should let her know, so she can move on. when one is attracted to another, moments slip away much too fast. that person should open up. same if one has fallen away. it is only fair.

love is love, and you cannot control your heart. I believe that your heart controls your mind (and I am in the medical field haha). I will explain my silly or not so silly theory:

you fall for who you fall for (even though some say it has nothing to do with the heart) but in your mind, can you fall out of love? tell yourself to stop hurting over a lost friendship, lover, etc.? no.

you cannot control the pain that you swear comes from the heart. and you cannot make your mind do anything emotional. i.e.,

stop loving
love someone
care
not care

you are not as in control of those things even if you feel you are. you may say, I will not fall for him/her, but unless there is no magic, you are not interested or have nothing in common, it is possible you may fall. you just get certain feelings with some people right away--an instant corelation of sorts. and sometimes while in a relationship, you just fade away with or without reason.

anyway, on to the next chapter. :)
Posted 14 months ago. ( permalink )
Panayotispro replies:
This is a very difficult question ... to what extent we can control our feelings ... personally I think that we can but I would agree that it is not healthy ... at least not always :-) ... the same with thoughts :-)
Posted 14 months ago. ( permalink )
♥ Colpo di fulmine ♥ replies:
thoughts are thoughts--always going to live inside of you, until you set them free. if you are thinking "wow, she is beautiful!" you will think it all the time. but if you say it to the person, your thoughts move on to something else about her, but the "beautiful" thought will remain, only blended naturally with the other thoughts. and each time you receive more, your thoughts fill, until your entire mind is full of wondrous things about her. not sure that makes sense.

you cannot control your feelings, only the way you react to them. even then, you react without thinking or control, i.e. anger, frustration, passion, happiness. I think happiness and sadness are two feelings that come naturally w/o control. you can hide your feelings, but it is not control--it is another feeling (fright) that does that.

I think we can control other's feelings more than our own. you can say something to make someone cry, but they can do little to stop the pain. distracting themselves from the pain only lessens the ache for a little while. only time can remove it from view. I try not to allow someone to change my mood for the worse, but people can do it. the sad thing? sometimes just one word can do it.

a good example of a good change: you are tired, frustrated, and in an ok mood. you come across something that says "she has a beautiful voice." and a reply that says "like yours..." automatically, you smile. your mood is elevated from very few words of another. ;) grazie.
Posted 14 months ago. ( permalink )
Panayotispro replies:
On the other hand we make a million choices every day that affect our feelings ... to go to the beach or not, to leave a relationship or not, to go on foot or with the metro, what to eat ... and one important choice is how we interpret others' actions/words/gestures/silence ... I used to say that "there are million strong feelings we can feel for the other and only one word to express them: love" ... of course if we let the feelings alone they can very easily take all the decisions :-)
Posted 14 months ago. ( permalink )
♥ Colpo di fulmine ♥ replies:
agreed. :) I must go find chocolate now! ;)

oh, and with coconut!
Posted 14 months ago. ( permalink )

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