Did you ever have one of those days!

The Wife is 52 on Monday, so she’s having a pampering weekend. After a day in the beauty salon, the whole family decided to go out to the pub to celebrate tonight. I cooked a nice dinner and we all had a few glasses of wine.

Anyway, she (the wife) went off to change to go out and came back wearing a little black number.

She said “do you think my arse looks big in this”

I said “do you think I’m stupid enough to answer that question”

I’ve had picture but no sound since she said “F*#k off”

Well an awful lot of the neighbours came to the pub and my money began to run a little low, now I couldn’t catch her eye…. Because she’s not talking to me, so I had to run up a slate. (That’s Credit)

Now on one of my many trips to the toilet, I met this girl, she would be in her late twenties, I’ll tell you, there is more material in a hanky than there was in her whole outfit. Every interesting thing she had was poking out……

She said “would you like to come home with me and to make love to me all night for €200

I said “ Jesus girl, at my age I wouldn’t be able to make love to you all night….But I could sure use the €200”

She said “F*#k off”

Well I did…..I fu#ked off back to the table, they were all gone. The barman said our taxi was outside. I went out, (staggered out really) and there was our taxi….gone!..An me still on the footpath

Now the kids won’t be talking to me tomorrow either…..Because I have the keys of the house in my pocket!