English version of the Hartbrandwichtel story

1. A Hartbrandwichtel (garden gnome) is going his way

The garden was gently sleeping in the midday sun. Only the humming noise of a few busy bees was heard. Occasionally an excited twitter came from the hedge, but it died away just as fast, as it had developed. Lukas, the tomcat, was laying beside the pond, attentively pursuing the ways of the fish, which were swimming their monotonous courses. The house behind the small pond seemed to be abandoned, not even the dog, who used to live in a hut beside the terrace, could be heard.

Hartbrandwichtel Eugen motionlessly stood at his traditional place under the corkscrew hazel bush, a place with a nice overview. Eugen loved the peace of that hour, because he had to think. Actually he had never thought too much. Why should he? He was a simple garden dwarf, and not even one of first grade, otherwise he would have been in a red cap. But at some point it had begun, that his heart of fireclay had started to move and he felt that there had to be something behind this garden pond. He began to listen attentively to the talks of the garden users and using the things he heard here and there he tinkered a conception of the world, which made him increasingly uneasy.

Of course the derogatory comments, which rained over his blue-capped head again and again, did hurt him. Above all his surface suffered from the changing weather conditions and the annoying meetings with animal visitors, and it rankled so that he was pushed further in the offside from year to year and had to make room for new garden gnomes, which were positioned clearly visible near the pond and in the flowerbeds with the fresh spring flowers.

But all these indignities were small concerning to the fear that more and more took possession of him since he had heard this unbelievable threat. Once a visitor had announced laughing: „Some time he will be gone, your Eugen. Then the Front for the Liberation of Garden Gnomes will come, get him and take him away for the freeing of the garden dwarves!“ The heart of the gnome threatened to get a flaw, so wildly it did struck in the fireclay chest. Under no circumstances he wanted to be kidnapped and freed. Nevertheless he felt reasonably fine at his place. Just for a moment Eugen liked the chance to become „a traveler garden dwarf”, because some comrades’ fate was to be carried to interesting places and cities by their deliverers for taking photographs there. The legal owners received these pictures via post anonymously, but the gnome himself remained in detention. Not even the "International Association for the Protection of Garden Gnomes" worried about it, they were only busy with matters of rather minor importance such as size and appearance of the dwarves.

But Eugen decided to take care for his own fate, and now the opportunity seemed to be right to convert the plan he had made into reality. When tomcat Lukas became conscious of the hopelessness of his fish hunt project and finally went away, Eugen plucked up all his courage and bravely set the first step. Nobody except Karl George, the gold fish, which in surprise stretched out the head between the lily pads, noticed that on this spring day Hartbrandwichtel Eugen freed himself und was on his the way to discover the world behind the garden pond …

2. An exciting find

The glistening light of the midday sun dazzled Eugen, when he left the shade of the old trees around the fish pond and stepped out of the garden towards the road. But if a Hartbrandwichtel has seized a resolution he can not be confused and so the fleeing guy courageously continued his way. Eugen didn’t know, where all this would lead him to, but he felt a tingling in his empty stomach, nearly a kind of floating, carrying him over the bumpy field path, which he had chosen, because the road seemed to be not the right place for a deserter. Searching the protection of high grass he forged ahead, slowly up to the edge of the small city.

A development area spread up to the border of the rolling hills, and Eugen decided to constitute a place for a longer rest, because he had to think which further way the escape should run. Close to the first house he discovered several flower buckets in the provisional garage entrance. Exhausted by the arduous hike through the fields, he sank into the shadow of the pottery and dozed a little.

He could not have rested for a long time yet, when he was waked roughly by an impact against his blue jelly bag cap. Several children were playing around this area, and they had lots of fun by throwing pebbles towards the sleeping gnome. He would not have survived the attack for sure, if not a stroppy voice would have sounded suddenly: "What’s going on here?? Stay away from my flower buckets!!" “We just throw stones onto the dingy garden dwarf," was the answer. „ A garden dwarf?!? Is this the allotment family??? Look for some other place!!", it sounded from the window.

Eugen was shot on target, but first of all saved. He could not stay here any longer, and so he moved away groping along from scree to talus direction city.

It was late afternoon, when he reached the town center. The church square peacefully lay in front of him, and so Eugen dared a quick thrust to the tree he saw in front of a friendly looking building. The red door attracted his attention in a magic way. What might be hidden behind? It only could be paradise, because red was the colour of the gnomes, if they were gnomes of first grade, and did not have to wear blue caps like him. What if one could obtain a red cap there? Just the thought of something like that made the clay heart jump. He felt dizzy for a moment and had to lean against the tree.To get a red cap Eugen was ready to do almost everything … and when the door showed a small gap, but no one was to be seen, he used the opportunity to quickly slip into the house.

The second door opened to a room with long rows of shelves filled with a countless number of books. In a corner the surprise guest discovered a mountain of cushions. Just in time the gnome was able to hide himself behind, because steps approached and someone said: "I am ready to close now. Did you have a look if all visitors are gone?” The dwarf held his breath, but after a while it was pleasantly quiet, and Eugen ventured out from his hiding place. On the ground he found an opened book. It was probably a sign of heaven that it was „The Adventures of a Gnome called Leopold “. Full excitement Eugen began to read, side by side… until he fell into the deepest sleep of his previous life …

3. A miraculous appearance



Eugen was not sure whether he was awake or dreaming when he regained consciousness on the floor of the Catholic Library. He still lay bent over the book lying in front of him, which in the twilight he noticed just dimly. The moonlight gently fell through the curtainless windows and tickled his ear.

The churchbell struck midnight, as loud and unforgiving as the gnome had never heard it from his regular place near the pond. A confused mixture of the things he had read in the book about the adventures of the gnome Leopold and his experiences since the overhasty escape from the garden were turning around in Eugen’s head. He had to concentrate.

But even before the chimes were fallen completely silent, Eugen granted a creature of graceful beauty in the corner of the room. Surprised the gnome examined the shape and came to the conclusion that it could only be the Garden Fairy. The others always whispered about the existence of something like that, but Eugen never would have dared to think that he would ever see her in reality. He was so excited that it nearly left him speechless and his clay heart deeply slipped into the Dungarees. Don’t make a clumsy move, don’t tell anything wrong, because in no case he wanted to shoo away the good fairy. After all it was told by insiders that only she was able to provide a red cap for the gnomes and apart from winning his freedom that was Eugen’s greatest wish.

"Do you know me?," a lovely voice rang out after a while. "You are the Garden Fairy … and I would like to have a red cap," the gnome spluttered like a devout prayer. The fairy’s bell-bright laughter frightened Eugen. Had he made a crucial mistake? Did it destroy all his hopes? "Slowly" said the fairy, " not even the fairy tales work so quickly. What about the tasks you intend to fulfill for your price?" "Oh, the tasks ", Eugen exclaimed hasty. "What am I to do? I am ready to go to the end of the world and fight for my red cap."

The Garden Fairy mildly smiled, came closer to the dwarf and said: „I observed you, when you bravely fled from the garden. A courageous heart beats in your chest, and your desire for freedom shows a noble spirit. But many went your way, gained the red cap and could not permanently resist the temptation, which offers an unhurried life in a secure garden. They fell by the wayside, turned back to their places in gardens, ponds and flowerbeds in the suburban settlements. The law however demands that afterwards they have to stay as hard-burnt clay for the rest of their lives and a noble feeling never more will come up in their dead bodies.“

The fairy retreated into silence and regarded the gnome thoroughly. „But what about Leopold?“, the intimidated Eugen dared to ask. "Leopold" and the Garden Fairy was virtually devout when she said this name. "Leopold was a special gnome. No one was like him, no one as brave, nobody as clever, nobody did as much for the rights of the gnomes as he did. … But he doesn’t exist anymore, and still nobody is the same.” Then Eugen jumped up and cried so loudly that it resounded from the walls of the night-quiet room: „Just give me the tasks! What do you ask? “ „ You should think it over for three days and consider carefully. Then I want to come back, and ask you, whether you are ready to dare the adventure“, was the Garden Fairy’s reply. Then she disappeared, leaving the surprised Eugen alone in the night.

So there was nothing else to do than to continue with reading about Leopold, who was Eugen’s idol from now on.

4. About naked gnomes and the rescue of their honour

Eugen came to terms with his fate and delved into the book again. He wanted to make use of the given time, in order to learn as much as possible about life as a free gnome. And what could be more instructive, than the story of Gnome Leopold’s life?

So he read about the unbelievable incident, which once had taken place in a suburb of Cologne:

On behalf of the gnomes’ honour

For quite some time there sprawled a whisper through the terraced house gardens of the land, which told about the scandal behind the large window panes of a department store. The waves of indignation sloshed so highly, that in the end there seemed only one solution left. As Gnome Leopold got to know, how humblingly the honour of the gnomes was treated, he immediately started the arduous journey to the Rhineland.

It was an early saturday morning, when the gnome reached the market place of the suburb, but because of the ongoing weekly market Leopold couldn’t go closer to the place where the scandal took place. So he hided himself behind the tire of a parking car, and stayed there waiting and watching how the people flatly pressed their noses against the shop windows of the department store and finally walked away amused.

His impatience nearly killed Leopold, but he could not dare to cross the place in order to peer the source of the amusement. Too easily he could have been trampled down in the crush or even worse, a kidnapper could get hold of him. But as soon as the bustle calmed down, the gnome crept to the shop window.

He hardly didn’t want to trust his eyes, but a whole army of garden dwarves in a poor state was standing in front of him. With frozen smiles but completely bar any clothes they were standing there in a dishonourable manner, helplessly delivered to the eyes of gazers.

Leopold boiled with rage, but what should he do? It needed a sophisticated plan to convert this disgrace into pleasure. The disgusted rescuer of all gnomes and other garden orphans suddenly was torn from his thoughts, as an earsplitting scream was heard close to him: „Mummyyy, look, a garden dwarf!" But the outstretched hand, that nearly touched Leopold, was gruffly pulled away and a voice bawled: "Chantal, you shouldn’t pick up each and every crap from the road! Come on, I’ll buy some French fries for you!”

Leopold used the next unobserved moment to flee from the department store to a close by playground. Under one of the banks he sat and tried to find an idea to act, because it was impossible to leave the naked gnomes this way. As the chance wanted, there was a forgotten news paper laying next to the bank.

From his observation point Leopold recognized an advertising supplement peeping from the newspaper, which exactly showed the just discovered naked gnomes. By coincidence a forgotten pen was on the ground, too. That brought Leopold to a plan. With his most beautiful gnome’s sunday handwriting he wrote straight over the advertising insert the word "PAINTING COMPETITION". But how should he bring this message to the right place?

As the night fell, Leopold hit the road to fulfill his mission. It was a hard piece of work to drag the advertising supplement to the door of the local kindergarten and push it under the door.

As on Monday morning the gates of the Children's House opened, kindergarten teacher Luisa found the message and was immediately taken with the idea. She didn’t have liked the white dwarves in the department store at all and so she loved the idea to organize a painting competition. Immediately she called the department store administration and arranged an appointment with the surprised Mr. Mörsebecker, who during the negotiations got so absorbed with the new idea of advertising, that he nearly believed it was his own.

Only Mrs. Hergenrath, the decorator coming just from an art technical school, wasn’t amused and quit the job. The painting competition of the kindergarten however was a great success. All dwarves received new, colourful clothes and even little Chantal came to the award ceremony. She only won a consolation prize, but her mother bought one of the garden dwarfs, which were finally auctioned for good purposes.

As Gnome Leopold went past the department store in the evening to have a last look if everything was right again, a last remaining dwarf hurried to the window pane and waved to the saviour of the gnomes’ honour by laughing friendly:

5. Important travel preparations

The next morning Leopold looked for a secluded place near the Rhine, watched the gently plashing water and meditated. It was a long and arduous way to the Mediterranean, but he had heard of this hostage-taking, and one cannot let seven dwarves down, just because the task occurs too enormously, too inseparably. "You have to meet the problems and eliminate them," he murmured, and the ducks turned their heads in surprise, because they had never seen a speaking gnome before. But as the waves, caused by a container ship just passing by, claimed their full attention, the ducks did not worry about the strange guy at the bank anymore, because contenance is indispensable even if ducks are swimming.

So Leopold was able to hang to his thoughts undisturbed, and of course he did not want to travel to the south unprepared. Weather conditions in the south were different and he still was in lack of the required equipment. In addition he had no idea how he should master the distance. Actually that was a more difficult task than to travel from Felldownhead to Great Snoring and Leopold as soon as it came up rejected the plan to send himself by mail, because he did not know anybody at the Flower Riviera, which appeared unfortunate to him, because it seemed to be a splendid area for garden gnomes. But he decided to think it over, if he intended to retire some time.

But now Leopold found his way into the city to look for a swimsuit. He discovered a small tailor shop, which seemed to be exactly suitable for his purposes, because swimsuits for gnomes can not easily be bought off the peg. He already had an exact conception of the bath dress. It should be with flowers on it and comfortably, but not too long. But while in his mind he saw himself already splashing in the floods of the Mediterranean, wearing the new swimsuit, panic suddenly took hold of him. What if this Sam from the tailor shop was a member of the Front for the Liberation of Garden Gnomes? Just looking at them does not tell whether these humans were dangerous. No, he could not dare to give himself in the hands of an unknown guy and risk to get displaced. The new mission was too important and could not be endangered.

So Leopold turned around and went back to the department store. In an unobserved moment he slipped into the building. Unseen he crossed the ladies department and ended up near the dressing rooms. A middle-aged lady approached the place where Leopold stood and tried to orientate, carrying over her arm a formidable mountain of juvenile clothes in shades of pink.

None too soon Leopold was able to flee in a cabin and hided himself under the seat, closely pressed to the wall. By coincidence the mentioned lady chose just the same cabin, and a bashful side view into the mirror brought our gnome to the conclusion, that one can be dressed with a lot of things, but not necessarily should.

In order to avoid further embarrassment, Leopold simply turned around, closed his eyes and fell into a restful sleep.

As the gnome awoke, night had fallen over the department store and Leopold decided to go to the toy department. He looked out for the desired articles, could not fail to turn a round with a Skateboard he saw standing around, and ended up in a big basket of stuffed animals. There he succeeded to convince a teddy bear, that there was no need for him to own trunks, but that it would perfectly fit on a gnome’s back. The crowning achievement of the equipment however were the sun glasses, which Leopold persuaded a DIDDLmouse to give him.

So supplied Leopold hided himself near the side door, in order to be able to leave the department store unobserved on the next morning and to start towards the airport from the bus station.

6. Flight 4455 to Nice

It was easy for Leopold to creep from the department store unnoticed the following morning, because the cleaning staff, who appeared already in the early morning hours, left the side door open for a while.

Unseen the gnome crossed the wide paved area between the rows of houses and then turned to the bus station „Porz Market “. The place wasn’t too busy that morning and Leopold looked out for the airport bus, which he discovered in the background after a while. Between him and the bus, however, lay the tram rails of the line 7, which he still had to transcend. That seemed to be rather dangerous, because people on their way to work represented a not inconsiderable risk for the little gnome. Undaunted by death Leopold dared to step on the pedestrian crossing and he nearly got overwhelmed by a heavy-weighty man, who tried to reach his bus, with his eyes more resting on the headlines of the newspaper in the EXPRESS-box than on the sidewalk.

While Leopold was still fighting to survive on the way across the tracks, the airport bus suddenly moved to his entering place on the other side of the bus station. This required rapid reorientation and nimble movements. In the nick of time Leopold succeeded to get inside the bus, with a courageous jump between the just closing doors.

The gnome had hardly recovered from the arduous entering maneuver as the destination was already reached. But how should he continue? Leopold had never gone by plane before, he did not even know how he should get into the airplane, even if he would find the right one. But the annunciator panel in the large entrance hall showed that a flight to Nice should start soon from gate B 33, and Leopold was lucky to succeed in creeping into the waiting-room past the moderately attentive inspectors.

Through the large windows he watched the manoeuvring area and immediately discovered the waiting plane. Leopold’s courage sank for the glimpse of a moment. He never could reach the plane. The distance was too far, the checks at this point too strict. But then he firmly took his little fireclay heart in both hands and observed the waiting passengers carefully. A mother with infant attracted his interest. In the baggage net of the buggy he discovered all kinds of toys and several rags. Leopold decided to hide himself between the stuff and get on board this way. Said, done. While the mother was busy with the final preparations for the flight, Leopold climbed to a small stuffed dog, cuddled up to him and pulled one of the veils over his body.

Sleeping Leopold spent his first flight in the baggage compartment of the air bus and did simply awake, because the southern sun prickled his uncovered toe.

7. Seven at one blow

The day was nearly gone, when Leopold arrived in Bordighera. It had lasted for a while to find a suitable vehicle in Nice, but a van that had brought flowers to the airport and drove back empty now, finally offered the opportunity the gnome had waited for a few hours. Leopold’s head was filled with dim thoughts and so he hardly didn’t turn his eyes towards the beauty of the landscape, and out of his rickety shed he couldn’t spot much of the flower Riviera anyway. But there should be time enough for entertainment, if finally the mission, on whose account the onerous journey had been taken, would be fulfilled.

First of all he however searched through the picturesque old town of Bordighera for the place where to his knowledge several garden dwarves should be held in cruel captivity as hostages. Leopold didn’t know, how it had ever been possible to overwhelm and kidnap a number of seven large dwarves, that besides enjoyed a high prominent status. A man named Walt Disney once had taken them to Hollywood and had shot a successful film with them, and a black haired beauty had played a thoroughly carrying role in that. This Snow White has been missing for years, too. A strange story, but the world moved further, because the stars of yesterday quickly are forgotten as soon as new stars rise at the film sky.

It already darkened, when Leopold gave up the search for this day and looked out for shelter for the night. As he looked from the wall of the abandoned, small garden down to the city the next morning, he couldn’t hardly believe his eyes.

At the end of the road he saw a balustrade, on which the seven missed dwarves stood lined up in a row. Leopold could even discover the associated girl from his observation post. It appeared extremely strange to the gnome that the sought simply stood there, apparently in freedom, but did not make any try to remove themselves. Leopold considered the matter to be to investigate.

Protected by the Oleander trees, Leopold carefully groped along to the place of the ghastly show-down, searching for security behind tree-trunks and parking cars time by time. The road surface was beautifully designed with embedded stones, but uneven. Nevertheless speedy Vespas permanently rushed down the way, and the gnome more than once ran into mortal danger as a squeaking and swinging vehicle approached him. Only with courageous hops he was able to prevent a premature end on the roads of the south and to land on the dirt pile with a concluding, quick broom stroke.

As a young lady hasty came along the street on her stilettos, the situation threatened to escalate completely, but since she was wildly moaning busy with her mobile phone, the sweat bathed dwarf found his way to safety by a fraction of an inch.

Carefully calling Leopold tried to get in contact with the dwarves on the wall, but the distance was too large, and so he had to use the lightweight powder, one of three gifts that should ease the execution of his missions for it, he once received by the garden fairy, for the first time. As soon as he had distributed only few of the glittering powder over his body, he succeeded to climb the wall.

The dwarves were totally surprised by the unexpected visit, and it took a while, until Leopold was able to arrange the confusing informations. It obviously seemed to be an action of the mafia to eliminate the former stars on behalf of a film boss, in order to clear the way for a new comic strip project. Under cover of darkness the seven dwarves had been kidnapped together with the main actress and shipped to Sicily, where they should find a wet grave in the sea. The concrete shoes were already adapted, but Luigi Pavarone, who was supposed to do the job, shortly before the dwarf’s execution got between the firing lines of two rivaling families and got victim of the Vendetta. So the delinquents lay in Pavaroni’s backyard for while until a distant cousin of the family took them for decoration to his new house in Bordighera, where he had withdrawn with a new identity. These concrete shoes with a not insignificant weight however prevented, that the dwarves could depart from there again. So they had to stay and weathered in the glowing sun, always dreaming of the former glory and fame of their film career and always hoping for rescue.

Leopold was shaken to the core. He decided to go to the beach and to reflect, how he could release the poor ones.

8. A tinned miracle

Leopold’s day at the sea passed by, without having a brilliant idea how to free the captured gnomes. Increasingly he got into a confidential rage about the stupidity of this gang.

How could seven big guys get in such a situation, and how should a small gnome like him solve this problem? Artists did not seem to be created for real life, and he pushed a large part of the guilt on this Snow White who had to have bewitched the hollow heads of the gnomes. But Leopold’s little heart had also done a tiny hop when he had noted the nice figure of the girl, and so a mixture of understanding and rage spread in him which he brought into a tolerable temperature by jumping into the moderately cool floods of the Mediterranean Sea.

When the evening coolness lay down on the day, the gnome went back into the old part of the town. Aimlessly he glided through the lanes, always in search of an inspiration, a hint of destiny, a rescue anchor, a solution for the problem he couldn’t get out of his head.

Quite tired from the strenuous running on the uneven streets of the old ligurian town, he suddenly heard a loud clamour through one of the open doors. Something inside told Leopold to remain listening and his gnomy intuition had not deceived him. „Antonio!! No drop more, you boozer!“, it sounded from the inside of a house. „You’re just hanging around all day long, while I slave in Pietro’s kitchen to earn something to eat. You want to make a big invention? That makes me laugh!! You’re telling this for thirty years, and you created nothing, really nothing at all! Your last inspiration has launched the mafia to look at us! Don’t remind me! An additive which allows concrete to harden faster! Such a nonsense! The opposite was the case. The concrete shoes disintegrated by using your stuff, as soon as they touched the water! What’s again in your sloshed head … oh, I don’t want to hear it any more!!“

A door in the house closed crashing, and Leopold thought about the things he had just heard. „This could be the solution I looked for “, he thought and crept carefully to the house. Through the still open door he peered in a small, meagerly furnished room in which an older man hung at a table more as if he sat. A small glass stood in front of him, which was still filled half with red wine. In harmony with the soft wind blowing through the lanes from the sea the evening light was playing a peaceful song. But Antonio apparently was absolutely unimpressed from the just experienced scene, because a temporary snoring drowned the rattling noise of the shaky ventilating fan. In a corner lay an emaciated cat who lifted the head when Leopold stepped into the room quietly.

With pleasure Leopold would have talked to the inventor in disguise and would have asked him directly for this strange substance which supposedly could soften concrete. However, this would have been too dangerous, and so the gnome looked around. Several dirty containers stood on a rusty cooker, followed by a shelve with bottles of undefinable contents. How should Leopold find the right one? But a gracious coincidence assisted by the scrawny cat, who approached prying and knocked down a tin which rolled clattering about the stone ground and remained lying before Leopold, helped to find it. „Calcestruzzo duro“ was written with shaky writing on the dirty label. This had to be the useless concrete hardener, a powder which should be added to the concrete. Absolutely determined Leopold reached for the tin and made a getaway so unobtrusively as he had come. Antonio’s snoring pursued the escape like a threatening gesture, however, Leopold could not look further after this personal tragedy and ran as fast as his gnome legs were able to carry him down into the town.

The next day Leopold went to the wall on which the caught dwarfs stood in the glistening sun as they did every day and presented his plan to them. Of course the gnome did not know whether it worked the way he had thought at night. But it was worth an attempt. What, otherwise, could he do to help the seven dwarfs and their Snow White? So the dwarfs agreed that Leopold would distribute the powder from the robbed tin over their concrete feet. Afterwards they only would have to wait for rain, what admittedly represented a test of patience in this hot area. However, a few days more or less any more couldn’t be the problem, and in general everybody was delighted that the rescue was close.

After the work was done Leopold decided to enjoy the remaining days at the Mediterranean Sea, because it seemed to him that he had earned this fairly. So he visited the first house at the place, in order to amuse himself by the view, and it did not even disturb him that the burning sunrays began to fade his clothes a little. Leopold even thought that a certain patina could add a little bit more dignity and let him appear riper.

Content with himself and his actions he waited for the rain, and he still inserted a few cultural investigations, visited the old church at the beach and talked to the statue of the queen Margherita who enjoyed her location by the sea with the marvellous view how she lively assured the dwarf.

A few days later a thunderstorm drew up from the west around noon and Leopold hurried to suit the action to his plan. The first gently falling raindrops dissolved the powder carefully and began to work on the concrete feet. Slowly the aggressive mixture penetrated the firm blocks, and when the pelting rain started, the rainwater quickly washed away the rest. The relieved dwarfs began to hop on the wall and to dance. Besides, they sang so loud her „Heiho, heiho, there we are glad again …“ that Leopold feared a discovery and had to upbraid the guys. He ordered them to jump down immediately and to follow him to the railway station.

Not until the relieved gnomes were finally stowed away in a baggage car and had departed, Leopold drew a deep breath. This adventure was mastered, and the gnome felt that he desperately needed a small vacation.

~~~~~~~~~~~