Mike Fiction's blog

a jaundiced light flicks outside,
pious, sinful
off, on

the bed upstairs is full of secrets
and subtle demons,
lusty, sweet and brutal

a greedy and glut blood pumps
walking this left hand path
staring into abyss

what a mess we've made
scratching,
at the frayed fabric

now it's torn,
spilling, revealing
sometimes a heart is a fist

it's not love,
this is a disease
but I want to play my part

I'm a pretty good actor

-- Mike Fiction

the fiery sky
and a drowning rose.
a howling wind
that ink exposed.

an invisible heat
cures the sick heart

all of this, an unbroken fever.

we kill so calmly, so fluently
and love so laborious.

- Mike Fiction

---
I am no writer and I know nothing of poetry, but I feel compelled to write lately. If my writing sucks, is mediocre or is good; I'm ignorant of this. I write to touch and be touched.

Tonight I sit in the warm glow of candle light and listen to the traffic outside, seeping through the small crack in the outer storm window. I've found a new appreciation for static and noise. Listening to the world, I feel naked, exposed to the elements. The sounds of a hushed voice speaking into the phone in the next room keep me from being physically alone, though I am alone.

I feel a sucking pressure in my chest, like my heart has imploded and the muscle and tissue is trying to fill in the newly formed space. It's been there for two and a half weeks. I notice it acutely in the quiet before sleep or when I sit after work to relax in my studio. I'm alive. I'm still here. But I'm not who I was 3 weeks ago. I'm a darker version of myself.

There's still a band of depressed skin where I once wore a ring. Wore it for exactly 10 years last week actually. The 18th of September. But the 8th of September is the day I now think of. That was the day my ring broke. The day my chest imploded. The day I was betrayed by the person I trusted more than anyone.

--

Written last night. It's good to get this out. If you expected photos, there will be more. I promise.

I'm sorry for not posting much here lately or responding to comments or commenting on others' photos.

Life has thrown me a lot of kicks and punches as of late and it's not getting any better. Pretty much depressed or rather manic depressive right now as a reaction to it all. I'll try to be more active, it's good for me. And I'll continue to take and post photos, it's the thing that's keeping me sane right now.

Something I've learned and am working through... Don't let all your friendships drift because you are in a marriage or other long-term relationship, because one day you may wake up to realize you're completely lost and alone.

- Mike Fiction