Marinkel *'s blog/

how much you wanna say you re fne, you re fine, you re fine. you want to scream it and make it go away. nothing can touch you anymore. there is no drama. whatever happens you re fine. you crawl up the walls and you have fantasies about another life. and you can fulfill your dreams but only if they coincide with your destiny. and maybe that s not it. or maybe it is. but there is no drama, there is no severance. there is no hatred anymore. there are ideas and some become reality and some just don t. and they tell you if you just believe hard enough. but you re crawling up the walls of your brain. and you want to keep sleeping. and you walk like a roboton and listen to the whistling train. it comes around for you like the moods changing with the hour. out of all the possibilities why does it happen to be the one? when an idea occurs you must grasp it with both hands and it will destroy you but it will elevate you because you dreamed it and you lived it. and it was so much better than the here and now. and if you re telling me that s all there is, you have understood nothing at all.

maybe some emotions are just too big to share just between two people. you feel them and share them with the world instead. listening to antony and the johnsons i can understand that the words he tells are too big for the one who inspired them. i spoke with a lady last night who said when we die that's it. but i asked what is this what we share between us? your words wander to my brain. but do they all reach their target? there must be some left over emotions and words that simply float up into the air and go elsewhere. and over a lifetime there are many words like these we have sent into space, too big for just one. and when we die, these words do not follow us to the grave. they continue to seek other brains and hearts to land in and grow and blossom.