I was younger than five years old when this incident happened. I was alone in my crib in my parents' room. No one was in the home. I went to the dresser and discovered some pantyhose and lingerie. I put on the pantyhose and I felt a soothing comfort run throughout my body. Then I heard someone come into the house and I rushed to put the pantyhose back in the dresser and went back into my crib.

Looking back at this event I realize that at a young age I was already feeling pain because of the lack of emotional care from my family. My family were not physically close: we didn't like to touch each other with affectioned kisses, hugs, handshakes, strokes of encouragement. But I understand that human touch is an important part of developing a healthy mental and emotinoal life. The discovery of the soft, sheer material of nylon, silk, satin that caressed my skin with gentleness became substitutes to quench my hunger for physical affection. Whenever I put on pantyhose, lingerie, slips, nightgowns, gloves, stockings, panties and other silky sheer material I felt comforted and a sense of well being.

My sixth grade teacher was a well dressed woman who always wore pantyhose. Whenever she held my hand when we were walking I would rub my hand along her pantyhosed leg and I would feel so happy. I really liked her because she was warm and kind to me. She would encourage me in my studies and told me how special I was. I think because of her I always dreamed to be a teacher just like her. She was my idol. So I have always wanted to dress nice like she did--dresses, skirts, blouses, high heels but not slacks.