I have been watching Ovation TV, they have a number of shows going on that are very interesting to me. Tonight is a program on low brow art of pop art surrealism. And they have Art or Not which looks at peoples work and wonder if this is art of something else. Beats me, I have no idea, though like most people I have an opinion on everything. But what interested me was the people talking about whether they were artists or not, and one said, many kids have the illusion they are living the life of an artist but to him, if you have the compulsion to create then the art will take care of you. This echos what I said before about what is it that divides the artist from the amateur. There is nothing wrong with being an amateur, I think that is what I am. I have the compulsion to create but not one thing in particular nor do I envision myself making a living from doing this. Art is not central to my life in that way, but I will argue that art and creativity is central to my life. It releases something in me that if not given expression makes me very unhappy. I become bored and morose, I fidget and start giving expression to my feelings that are central to neurosis, not creativity. I know because I have lived through this a number of times.

So tonight I was going to write about how much I am starting to hate writing this blog as I am using all my energies to do this and don't have much left to work on anything else tonight. I resent this commitment to this blog, hence I hate this, but yet the challenge is giving me something yet undefined. And I don't care if I ever settle that question, I would rather continue down the road and see if I can get past my dross and dreck and find something that will inspire me.

So,

ta ta for now