A layman's guide to a higher purpose.
Today I had an experience that puts the question of whether or not I am a photographer in a different light. I was walking home in the cold weather and I passed by this very large muscular fellow dressed for the gymnasium out in the cold working out by doing pull ups on a traffic signal. Now this was an amazing sight to me, and I had my camera but I was tired and stressed and just wanted to get home. I did not have the ultimate drive or desire to have to get that picture. Now to me what makes someone something in their bones is not the desire to do something but the need to do something. Like a writer has to write or they feel wrong. There is the weekend warrior who wants to go out and play at sports but doesn't feel the need to burn energy or get pumped up. This to me is a distinguishing mark in our lives. And I have to admit I noticed that I didn't have to capture that shot. This is a bit depressed to me, what is it that drives me, I am not sure, it is not one particular thing at all, what does drive me is that I have to create something, write, shoot, doodle or something or I start to go a bit loony. So I am something, but not quite sure what. If I didn't have school or flickr or ipernity I would go nuts and have in the past gotten quite out of sorts. I get cranky and depressed and feel at loose ends. So I know there is something driving me, but I have an odd sort of soft focus.
So I will continue to write and take pictures and do what I need to do, and let the answers come as they may.
What are you?
ta ta for now