Today I was eying some interesting looking pistachio pralines and was told they were not in fact made for my consumption but for various friends. That launched me into various stratagems for getting my hands on some of this candy. I went from begging, to emotional blackmail ( you don't love me) to relating the strategies used by my father. This further led to recounting how my dad loved those cans and packages of the strangest types of food products. Or at least in my narrow food world, he loved pigs knuckles, menudo soup, jellied chickens feet, any odd kind of meat that is sold in small containers at the gourmet shop. One last holiday season my sister in law was showing him all the goodies purchased for him and as she pulled each one out he just gestured with his finger, pointing to the item then himself and then gave her one of his ingratiating looks of happiness. I wasn't there but saw the pictures and got a short description. For a moment I was transported back in time and reconnected with my father who has been gone for about 13 years. For a moment I felt the connection between us, and for a moment I was his immortality. At the same time I was reading about googling ourselves, which is a very popular pastime. For me, I don't show up under my own name, some guy who sounds very interesting shares my name. Me, I am on the Internet primarily as larryosan and if I gain any notoriety it will be under that moniker. But unless there is an astute and emotionally invested writer to record my particulars the Internet will have an visually interesting history of me, but I think with no emotional depth. That comes from human connections and remembrances.

So as I travel down the river of life, it is my human connections that form my true immortality, the stories, the fondness I hope someday will be shared by someone who knew me or told a story about me. The pictures and images will show something of my curiosity, but I am not sure they will tell the story of my humanity, even if they record so many facets of my life. I am not sure if this is good or bad or I should just be indifferent.

Oh well, it does pose some nice questions.

ta ta for now.