So here I sit doing my first blog on ipernity, as opposed to worrying about posting something on flickr. Perhaps I will spend my time here complaining about that place. Not so much about the management but my constant struggle for recognition and constant ego worrying about my visiblity and feedback. It seems no matter how much I write about it or go back and forth on the subject I simply cannot escape the ego needs of my monkey mind. I believe the Zen types practice something like mindful activity. True dedication to what you are doing in an aware manner. This is one of the things I want to do with my photography and my activity time spent posting, commenting and responding but without the nagging worry about ego needs. But on the other hand I fear that if I lose that sense of discontent I will not be driven to strive for more. There I think is the crux of the matter. What is it that drives me to do what I do. For years I have suffered an existential angst about the ending of my existence and what legacy I leave behind. What will the world remember of me, though it is funny that I post only under this psuedo name larryosan. So even if you remember me, or collect my work it will all tie back to this fake name I created on a whim. So anyway, my angst has led me to create material, content, imagery that may float down the river of time. Something, anything that may survive the little piece of time we call the "ages".

 

Engough of this for the day. More later, perhaps........................