Someone would have thought I was suffering under an anxiety disorder today. One thing you will learn about me is that I often (for what ever reason) seek reassurance when I feel crossed, cut, or far from what I need. I think standing up for what I need does not make this situation terrible. It does hinder the response from others who may feel I am treading on the surface of water. I need to be happy. If it means allowing others to think I should not have the right, so be it. Today I've sacrificed something to hopefully gain the reward, my goal and inspiration, to full absorb and live my ideal profession. Training is everything to me. People are calm when they see you as an expert. People will respect you more when they see you have the knowledge to guide and give them a plan. I can do everything. I can manage cases. I can do the case management, but at the end. Where is my prize? I don't want to go down same road as last employment. Spending all this time and to not obtain any show of my hard work, I am naked to my own profession. So what does this lead me? We shall see. I had to do what was right for me. If no one else in this world understands, I need to. This is my life and I should not have to bargain for anything that does not let open the doors wide open to me. I now want them to hear me and listen. As they want for me to attend to my clients, I must feel the same from them. Let them have mercy.

I need things to feel right and that my path is not foggy for me to see. Clear path I can see and I can look ahead. It is easy to go along with someone's else agenda. You really have to look at what you need out of life. What will benefit you completely? All this need for settling and doing what you can to get by until you get to the place you need to be. Bologna. I did that already. I promised myself I would never do this again.