For some who may still not know this, I've started my new job this week. If you read my first blog tonight, you can guess the population that I am serving. I must say that things seem to be spinning slow on my toes. I am sure that things will get pretty "complicated" as the common word of choice used by my co-workers. There are a few of us Clinical Therapist I and one/two Clinical Therapist II. The rest are Mental Health Specialists or Educators. I feel that I am working with caring individuals. Me being the new girl onboard, perhaps people I get the impression are feeling me out. Today I had my chance to go into the elderly community and visit with one of our clients. Funny how their life stares back at me in the face. Perhaps I am too eager to know what they've been and where they want for things to go. I feel everyone deserves a chance of happiness if they've not been happy all their lives. I can say that I am calm. I am fortunate I think to get to know these individuals coming in the near future. I can be very ignorant to such things and being taught...it feels as I could understand what my own grandfather went through with his life.
You know he is exactly as this woman I met today. They did not want anyone to own them or to tell them that there life is now over. My maternal side of the family took away his keys. Took away his mobility. I agree at least it was not good for him to drive any longer. For my grandfather, his life felt it was time to let go. My aunts and uncles decided it was fit to put him in a nursery home. My grandfather lived in his home for many many years after the death of my grandmother. I remembered he talked about people he loved were gone. He would talk about people who were no longer here. I did feel that it was wrong for them to go against his wish. I mean my mother and younger brother called to tell me that my grandfather got feisty. Socked a lady in the face at the nursery home. That's how angry he was. Mind you my grandfather was sweet as a pussycat. I remembered telling my mom and brother that granddad would still be here if the family did not decide to institutionalize (another word I am learning) him. To lock him away and I was already living here in another state. You know sometimes what we think are the best for people, aren't always the best things for them.
How I miss him. He was strong even when I knew he was heartbroken and sad. He smiled anyways. If he had his way and remained in his home, I think he would still be alive today. Do we have the right to take their life out of their hands? It is like a "complicated" question you know. On one hand we need to care for them. On the other hand they have the right to have a life. Some people don't ever want to see or feel their oldness. If they see and feel, they break into pieces. Though they see they are frail, they still want to see that their skin is only aging. We should all be happy, right?