A recap of Chapter 1: We understand that suppression is a way for us to not deal with what has been happening for us. We seek refuge by living in a state of denial which continues to exist more on the subconscious level. Instead of dealing with our issues, we feed for help through other means for temporary relief of the root of our anxieties.
In Chapter 2, we will be able to break down the cycle of “the root-denial-subconscious-suppression. In everything that we do, there is this existing, perpetuated cycle that feeds to us do what we would or would not normally do. Subconscious is the lower level of our conscience. It is like light sleeping. You know that you’re awake but there are instances where you feel yourself are still dreaming. Your subconscious level is what I would think your little warrior, a protector, and also a blatant fool. You cannot tell where you are really on your subconscious level, but it makes you feel as though you are clearly aware. Why do we have a subconscious level of our mind? Why do we have levels that break into parts of our brain system? Everything with a function and everything for a reason, but not everything clearly answers.
In order to deal with your suppression, you must learn how to not cloud the subconscious level of your brain. It is like your eye as well. You must not put fog around it, the more you do the further you will not be able to understand. Like a state of confusion, your mind has clearly blown up to where it is too overwhelming. What do we do when we are overwhelmed? Oh lots of things. We over eat, we over drink, we over smoke, we over talk others until they don’t want to come near us again, we talk back when we think we heard something wrong, we start investing money on foolish things, we waste money by using it up and finding quit ways to earn it back, all again a cycle of our subconscious breaking down to where it does not want to feel the volcanic anxiety. It’s clearly pressure. We are pressured! We know we are being pressured, but there is nothing we want to do about it. We want to ignore it’s there; we want to laugh at ourselves for no reason just to lighten the fact. That subconscious level of our mind is to warn us but without a full conscience, we often lie to ourselves. Even with a conscience, we still want to bring upset feeling of being in denial. Yet we are suppressors within our suppressed mind, body, and even soul if you believe in it.
Of course our subconscious level makes do foolish things but it is also causing us to do things that our own fear realizes. We don’t want to go back there. It is too much for us. So we start finding better ways of handling our situation, we go talk with a good friend, we invest our time around something we have passion for, we start protesting for causes, we start volunteering our time to help out others, we eat healthy, we drink good things to nourish us, we smile at the world and at ourselves for right reason, we hold on to what is necessary and important, and we don’t lose who we are in the process. Process is the key. You cannot expect to live without going through a process. Everything is up and down from this day forward, but it doesn’t have to be. It just is. The time that you learn to live and deal with your ups and downs, you are able to overcome any challenges. First you have to have belief in yourself. You got to trick your mind as much as you think you are being tricked by it. Tell yourself it is going to be alright. I am living a good life. I am not living anything wrong. I feel good about me. I love me. I love everything that I have to give. And I expect nothing more.
We need our subconscious to warn us in due times. We cannot let the foolish side of our subconscious take over us and make us go into the state of suppression. WE have to pull the root by its head. It is like gardening. And how many of you reading this also love to garden? I do. It is very therapeutic whether you want to believe it or not. You have your flower gardens, you have your vegetable gardens, you can have your rock and water garden, you can have an architecture type of garden, any kind of garden, a peanut garden, a fruit garden, anything that you can get your hands dirty and start pulling out roots. I am saying to find things to make you relax and let what is ailing you come to light. More you hold it back, eventually it will sit and sit on you until you are running like a mad man in the streets of El Segundo (El Segundo is a city here in California) for the lack of places to use due to everyone is somewhere not necessarily California. We need to have hobbies that we can love and help us release. Releasing is a way of processing. Subconscious is there as a form of release, make you consciously aware but you are not fully there. We cannot hope to find any form of release without dealing with the roots. Like I said this is a systematic cycle that we all go through in our lives. No matter you’re rich, poor, or somewhere in between, race, culture, ethnicity, age, sex, etc. Children suffer from anxiety as much as us grown ups. So remember this if you want to start pressuring them to be the way you expect them to be. Everyone has a life like they have a choice. You will learn that this cycle is all rooted in FEAR. Anxiety is an aspect of a living fear, insomnia, is an aspect of trying to deal with anxiety at night.
Our subconscious swallows it and spits it back at us when we know better. We cannot expect to live in denial without knowing first of the effects of being there subconsciously. We all have a brain. We are all capable of thinking and learning. Some people use the excuse, “Well she did not know any better. I mean, she just lost her mind one day. We saw NO SIGNS of any sort of ailments like depression, she was always happy.” Now take this example for a ride, she had no signs but she up and went foolish one day. What targets people to lose their mind in speaking terms of the subconscious? Now we would think that ok maybe something just happened and she was not able to deal with it right then and there. Maybe she did not know how she was going to react to her problems. There were NO SIGNS. There was. Someone missed it. You don’t live with a person, you don’t see anything. You don’t clearly know a person. You don’t remember anything. Subconsciously others may have been in denial with her. Some people as well cannot handle what is happening to you on a subconscious level. Even though they are clearly aware of your struggles, to protect themselves, they will make an excuse, seek to offer you help, or choose to not want to talk about it. People think that shutting things out is a way to heal themselves from future occurrences. I am to tell you this now-it’s not! Temporarily yes it can be a posing tactic, but overall, it is not healthy. WE trick ourselves into believing just to keep ourselves from knowing what this waking and sleeping anxiety is like for us. Pull it by the head, you got to get down to your roots to break down the cycle.
Again more healthy ways with getting to the root of your dilemma:
1. Don’t say that it is going to be ok unless you truly mean and BELIEVE it.
2. Don’t offer your shoulder to anyone unless you are going to be fully aware of the potential affects on you from being there for this person. Be there for them to be helpful and loving all the same time being good to you.
3. Go out and do something different like pottery, painting, visiting a museum, visiting a shelter, and just learning to look into someone else’s light for a moment. It will help you to understand that everyone goes through something and there are ways of handling it in a beautiful way.
4. Be your own voice. Create something that helps you release. Whether through music, writing friends, making tropical smoothies, writing cards for those who mean the most in your life, making candles and sharing them, and the gift word is to SHARE. You got to share yourself in a positive way. Some of us do not think about how beautiful a good deed touches others. Someone could be having a rotten day, and you just going out of your way to making something or presenting something to them will make them feel needed. Feeling needed is a natural desire.
5. Don’t lie to yourself. Telling a lie to yourself is like murder but without all the extremity. Be truthful and honest with you. We can always make a story look lovely to those who are close or stranger, but we cannot fake the funk when we are alone and with our own thoughts. Learn to trust yourself.
With this, I shall continue to work on breaking the cycle and adding a Chapter 3. I was only able to write this part 2 because now my mind is not cloudy and I have all reasonable causes to share this writing with those who want to read this.
Disclaimer: Again this is only theoretical writing of my own. You can take this at face value or you can just use it as temporarily entertaining reading material. Hopefully there is something that reaches out to others. Ah meditation is good. Meditation and listening to soothing, quiet music! Go overlook the city where you are. If you need to think there, let yourself think, at least you will have a beautiful view. ;)
PS Learn to break things in halves. You have choices and it is not ever just one.
-Keisha S. Marshall