Josie Soho® Published on June 30, 2008
by Josie Soho®pro

Josie Soho®'s blog
Browse posts
Christie Brinkley Advised To Get Counseling
Posted on July 10, 2008
8 comments (latest 4 months ago)
Portfolio Slideshow for Josie Soho®
Posted on July 6, 2008
9 comments (latest 4 months ago)
Post Card History Of Holyoke
Posted on July 4, 2008
2 comments (latest 5 months ago)
What Would You Do
Posted on July 2nd, 2008
14 comments (latest 5 months ago)
The Testosterone Has Left The Building
19 comments (latest 5 months ago)
The Internet Is Not A Playground
Posted on June 28, 2008
2 comments (latest 5 months ago)
Regarding Virtual Relationships and Collaborations
Posted on June 24, 2008
10 comments (latest 5 months ago)
Toddler Love
Posted on June 17, 2008
10 comments (latest 5 months ago)
Help Wanted
Posted on June 13, 2008
14 comments (latest 5 months ago)

Keyword tags

• my father lives on

More information

This post is public
© All rights reserved
  1. 252 visits / 1 vote

The Testosterone Has Left The Building

Monday June 30, 2008 at 12:18PM

Now that I have your attention

In 1968 my father received an unsolicited Mastercard in the mail. Watching my father open the mail was a daily occcasion. We all, the six of us and my mother stood around waiting while the king of the castle looked through the mail first. We stood by hoping there might be a missive for one of us.

He was a self employed man of uncertain means. The mail was an enemy to him.

On this particular day I remember clearly the Master Card logo so shiny and new on it's plastic card. A novelty. I hadn't seen such a thing before. My father roared, "Goddamn it!!! This will be the ruin of us all!"

I forget a lot of things. I never forget him angrily shredding that card and throwing it away.

 

Maine- The way life should be.

19 Comments / add your comment?

Bebe says:
obvious foresight of the trouble cards can cause.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
he meant the whole country and world. not just our family. he had a clarity of vision which scared him.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro says:
i just returned from a trip around the block for milk. i passed my brother hauling a trailer load of canoes. he's self employed like our dad was. he was just climbing aboard his rig when i pulled up alongside. i asked him how his show went. he lifted his shoulders and stuck his tongue out. he looked so much like our dad. i pulled around the corner and cried.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho® edited this comment 5 months ago.
6 of 1 says:
Nicely written little story.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
thanks six.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Merodemapro says:
would your father actually hand out a letter not addressed to him? would he, then, have looked who sent it? the late sixties, that could still have been letterwritingdays...
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
he would look through the mail first. if there was any to hand out he would.

yes, in those days people did take the time to write letters. i had a penpal then.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Rafalpro says:
hmm... not sure what you mean... maybe it's just my english.
do you mean all those problems connected with economical progress??
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
exactly right raf.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Paŭl Peeraertspro says:
Interesting story, with good title smile
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
Thanks Paul. I had the title first! Though the storie's been stuck in my head for decades. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Purple T says:
I think there's a lot of truth in that statement of his.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
My father was not well educated but he had a lot of foresight and folk wisdom. Thanks Tim.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Käthepro says:
What a fine story, telling us how deeply this man was looking into our future....

But I didn't understand the sense of the headline ..? Im mean I understand the words, but...?
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
the title refers to the fact that my father shot himself in 1988. all his strength and power was gone.
so i am actually referring to him literally leaving and the defeat he ultimately felt.

thank you, tante Kathe.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Käthepro replies:
Thank you fo the explantion and for your frankness, Josie--I'm shivering now.
:-(
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
I'm sorry. thank you. it was long time ago now.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Käthepro replies:
But these scarves hurt. Always. A life time.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )
Josie Soho®pro replies:
yes. that's true. there is a lot of loss in life. we have to learn to deal with it. it's part of the process of being human.

my father's death was brutal and untimely. he was only 55 years old.
i can't change it. i have to do what i can to prevent other people from dying the same way.

i talk about his death to take away the stigma and shame that hangs over families when someone has murdered themself.

my hope is that if everyone could feel comfortable talking about suicide then the environment could be open to welcome and help others who may be thinking of taking the same path.
Posted 5 months ago. ( permalink )

Add your comment

Reply to this comment

Edit your comment

Please sign in to post a comment Sign in now?

rss Latest comments – Subscribe to the feed of this post comments.