53. Judgment for others is judgment for us

If someone doesn’t like us as we are here and now there is nothing we can do to change that.
We can maybe get thinner or fatter or try to make some changes in or on ourselves.
But it doesn’t make any difference what we do, if someone doesn’t accept us as we are, whether our parents, children, friends or spouse, nothing we will ever do can change that.

We can rest assure as soon as we have change one fault they see in us another will appear. For what others dislike about us has nothing to do with us, only they.
When we are unhappy about ourselves, it automatically reflects on our surroundings, in one or another way.
We don’t want to wake up so early in the morning, we don’t want to go to work, the children are so difficult, maybe impossible to handle, we are jealous of our coworkers, friends or spouses success. Our spouses is not as we would like them to be, in appearance and behavior, we ourselves are not good enough, ect, ect.

There is no difference between not wanting to go to work and criticize our spouses look and behavior. Both are discontent with reality as it is. And that discontent is not in others but us.
It’s our unhappiness which appears in our surrounding this way.
It must be obvious if we are unhappy with someone the feeling is inside us. It comes from us to others.
In other words, if we steel, we are the thief, not someone else.
And it d makes no difference on what or whom we point our unhappiness, it is always inside of and from us.
So a change should always be ours for us.

We should not for one moment think we can change what is, compared to what was and should be.
The reality of what is can’t be changed. That which once was is only a memory and that which should be is only an idea built up from our memory. That’s all.

To see what is, and then I mean see as to understand fully, is in itself a change without what was and what should be.
We suddenly notice a tree we never noticed before. We didn’t change anything but still there was a change and that change has nothing to do with was and will be.
When we se ourselves and our actions, which we never noticed before something is abound to happen. Self-knowledge leaves no one unmoved.

To see something we haven’t seen before is a change.

When we meet others vulnerabilities and other criticize us in someway we often just accept it. We believe something is wrong with us, that we are not good enough as we are and have to change.
It’s obvious if we didn’t believe we were no good we would not accept others judgment.
Is it not a fact, he who is discontent with himself is discontent with everything and everyone else.
It starts and ends in ourselves. The judgment is in fact ours for us.

To be free from judging others we have to see that happiness and unhappiness is in fact the same thing. It would not help to go from one to the other. We have to let go of both.
We can’t learn how to do that from books or by practicing it through various systems. It’s only something we do.
Like the thief who stops steeling. It can’t be practiced only done.
When we let go of both what is left? Nothing.

When there is happiness that’s what we are. When there is unhappiness that’s what we are. When we let go of both, there is nothing and then we are that and we dear not be nothing.

We do all kind of things to be happy, but if that’s not possible we settle with unhappy rather than nothing.
Never nothing which we in fact are and can’t get away from being. We can only hide it behind a delusion which creates all kinds of everlasting complications.
It is a fact, while we don’t dare to be what we in fact are, we are discontent with ourselves and that will go out to our surroundings. That’s unavoidable.

To see and understand that we rather create conflict and others misfortune than nothing is a change and that change is everlasting.
Then everything is changed and yet everything is the same as before. It always was there we just didn’t see it.