51. Force by rejection

Society itself, groups in the society, as well as individuals in the groups, use force by rejection.
The society rejects those who step outside the norm society sets us with various laws and rules.
Law may very well be necessary in some events, but more often they are just the revenge of all societies’ individuals against one individual, the society against itself.
The society is in fact all its individuals which in the name of majority use force on others by rejection.

The church uses force on its members by rejecting those who don’t follow its rules the sacrament or membership of the church.
By that the individual is rejected the security he sought from the church.

Political groups, sports club, schools and other groups constantly use this method against “naughty” members.

But this using of force is also in our personal relations with each others. Parents against children, older and stronger siblings against younger and weaker siblings, spouse against spouse ect.
How often have we not said to our children or heard from our parents, if you do as i say then ..., that’s force by rejection.
Many of us have also said to our siblings and heard from them, I will if..., if you ..., and if not ... then..., that’s using force by rejection.
All our existence is filled with force. And force is rejection.

The last fortress to fall is our loving spouse or the partner we have chosen to walk with through live. In hope of bright future with love and friendship and all the wonders we can find in the world of literature, whether those fairytales come to us through books, a TV-screen or just our own imagination.

Those of us who choose to live alone are not free from rejection. We always find a partner in life, in one or another form. Too believe otherwise is a delusion.
After years of rejection from our parents, siblings and friends, we have at last found someone who thinks we are wonderful, great, special, at least good enough as we are.
It must be, otherwise they would not have chosen to live their lives with us. Would they?

We are born with parents and siblings, there is no chose, but those individuals are our chose and we theirs.
But the happiness lasts just so long. Suddenly we are too pushy or too week, too fat or too thin, like this or that and nothing as we are so post to be, far from it.
This individual we thought was our shield and shelter seems to have changed his mind. We get the message in various and sometimes peculiar forms but their core is always clear, we are rejected.

We are startled and try to defend ourselves. We can’t believe this is happening so we create an explanations, excuses and smile to the world.
But on the inside we know that this individual, we gave all our trust to, has violated it. He rejects us just like everyone else.
The last fortress has fallen.
And it is in fact the last fortress. For the fact is when we see and accept that our spouses and partners reject us like everyone else there is nothing left but us. We stand alone.

We try to hide and find someone to take their places but sooner or later everything is back as it was.
We can never flee the fact that when the last fortress has fallen we stand alone. There in nobody there to take the fall from us, to comfort us and reassure us.
We are alone in the world and we dare not face that. For then we have to admit the fact that it is we who use force on ourselves. We reject ourselves, not others. And we don’t want to face that fact.
It’s always we who accept what is handed to us. We have a chose. We don’t have to accept it.
But we believe we are not good enough as we are and should be otherwise.
That’s our idea about us. That’s our rejection of us.

When we use force on others, no matter what form it has, we are only showing what’s inside ourselves.
That which is inside us is the same as we give out to the world. So if it is rejection inside us, rejection is what we send out to others. That’s unavoidable. And that applies to all not just few.
We can’t point and say, you, you and you are in our favor and the rest of you not.
Love is either none or complete. So if we love one (ourselves) we love all. And if we reject one, we reject all.

We are in fact the one rejecting and rejected.
Not because like others reject us we reject them, but manly because we are the ones that reject ourselves.
Force, or rejection from others to us, is always our weakness. Like our rejection towards others is our weakness. It begins and ends in us.

It’s clear it is only possible to force us if and when we believe we are not good enough as we are.
When we see our strength nobody and nothing can force us. Then we don’t need others approval.
The reason we try to force others is our fear of loosing, whether personal belongings or talent. Whether matter or spirit.
We want to be something, get others approval so we create importance around us. And at the same time we create danger of loosing it again and fear of loosing is weakness. 
So we get caught in an endless circle of hell.

But we are our own prisoners and prison guards so we can break the circle. We can walk away when ever we like.
Freedom is seeing our own strength. Who ever knows himself doesn’t need others to tell him who or what he is.
Self-knowledge is the way to freedom. And the way to self-knowledge is to peal of all we are not until there is nothing left but truth, which is all of us.

Truth can only be nothing which contains all.
Therefore our strength lies in being neither this nor that.
When we are neither this nor that we have nothing to loose. And when we have nothing to loose we can’t be forced.
When we are all we need nothing. And when we need nothing we have no need to force ourselves or others.
We are free.