Celeb photography shoot out between Jill Greenberg and John McCain
Round One
Greenberg unpacks her Nikon.
LO: That’s to be expected.
HC: I disagree. Greenberg by choosing a Nikon is setting the tone of the match,.. no nonsence, professional.
LO: Maybe she’s attempting to keep things civilized. Appealing to McCain preference for conservative values.
Round Two
McCain considers a choice of cowboby outfit or dark blue suit.
LO: That cowboby outfit is a tip of the hat towards WubbleU but if he puts that on Greenberg is going to make micemeat out of him.
HC: “I’m just glad you didn’t go with the Buzz Aldrin space-suit ” Greenberg jokes and theyshare a laugh.
LO: Just look at the speed Mccain is tying that half Windsor knot in his tie. He has Greenberg completely mesmerised.
HC: Yes it looks like the choice of formal dress is not something the Greenberg is comfortable with.
Round Three
Greenberg stets up some strobe lighting and three reflectors..
HC: Three reflectors!!!
LO: Surprises me as well, Howard.
HC: I’m beginning to suspect she is in awe of her opponent. Greenberg for all her bluster fears authority, especially if it has been elected. The three reflectors is her attempt to intimidate Mccain.
LO: And doesn’t wish to appear lightweight.
HC: Too much respect might cost her the match. If she let’s McCain dictate the pace,
Round Four
McCain has his makup artist apply some Rimmel foundation.
LO: Well, that’s something.
HC: Rimmel is way down market. I suppose McCain thinks that by applying this foundation it wil give him some street cred.. so Rimmel makes perfect sense.
LO: Yes, but Greenberg has used Rimmel by the case She might take offence that McCain is making subtle hints about her low class origins.
Rounds Five through Ten
Greenberg swaps to a Canon with a telephoto.
McCain tightens his tie to make his face go a senatorial red.
LO: We may well be here all night.
HC: It’s turning into a porno shoot. Greenberg has distanced herself from McCain by using the telephoto
LO: Yes with the Nikon she was getting in too close. It was getting a little too cozy. If you ask me. McCain thinks he’s at his local country club. He'll soon be expecting Greenberg to be scraping and bowing before him. Where is the Greenberg that made kids cry? That is the Greenberg we want to see.
HC: Here’s some movement! McCain gets to his feet to deliver a presidental acceptance speech: “My fellow Americans...”
LO: Oh that was a low blow and the presumption of it has got Greenberg riled.
HC: But she is reeling back from his oratory. She can't seem to click the shutter button on her Canon.
LO: Crafty McCain has he hypnotized with his weasel words.
HC: Greenberg snaps out of it and starts to snap, that motor dirve on the Canon must be running red hot.
Round Eleven
Greenberg takes out a Kodak disposable camera and a Russian Lomo
LO: Greenberg returns to her trailer park roots.
HC: Her lurid portrit style has leveled many opponents. If the high ultra contrast saturation doesn’t get them—
LO: The Lomo vignette will. McCain looks like a fish out of water. Mouth gaping, gasping for air, acceptance speech forgotten. I think it is the fact that the Lomo is Russian has made his step to falter.
HC: Looks like it is a 3:00 AM call for McCain and he has failed to deliver
LO: He tips off his high stool on the six count, and finishes on the nine. He retires to his corner for more make-up.
HC: McCain is livid! He flexes his hands, pushes the make-up artist to the side and seems to be applying the YSL lipstick by himself.
LO:Puce is not the best colour for his complexion
HC: Indeed...puce literally means "flea". It is speculated that it refers to the colour of a squashed flea or the colour of a flea full of blood. ...
Round Twelve
McCain returns with his comb-over teased out to a Prodigy twisted firestarter double mohawk and mis-applied lipstick that makes him look like a vampire.
HC: McCain is obviously going for the youth vote, but clearly the look is just not working for him. He rises to his feet to make another florid speech. The man loves his speeches.
LO: I suspect he’s trying to get Greenberg to stop and listen.
HC: This time Greenberg gets to her feet and cuts him off, saying: “Genius is the the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way. Which makes you an idiot.” She does a Lomo camera toss straight at McCain with the selftimer set to 2 seconds and hopes it will capture the frightened look on McCain's face. This is turning into a brawl!
LO: McCain ducks and the Lomo smashes into the strobe lighting. Sparks are flying everywhere
HC: Greenberg is for walking off the set. Age and experiance seems to have won the day.
LO: Greenberg lets loose another verbal barrage, saying, “I'll outlive you, and, by God, the out-takes from tthis session will see me comfortabley retired on a nice pension”
HC: McCain draws back as if to lunge. Then—what’s he doing?
LO: He’s unbuttoning his fly. Good God, he’s taking out his member!
HC: And pissing on Greenberg's equipment! “Snap that! you commie red-loving lesbo!” The ref steps in! He’s disqualifying McCain!
LO: A controversial finish! Greenberg wins by disqualification.
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