Funfair what a misnomer, they should be called Waitingfairs becuse most of your time is spent standing in a queue.

You can spend a good 20 minutes waiting for a ride that gives you whiplash and makes you puke if you have just stuffed your face with french fries and drunk a can of warm special brew lager.

Vomiting is not so bad if you don't direct it onto your own trousers, indeed it gives some sort of relief, but where it gets difficult is when  you barf a the pinnicle of the ride, and the trajectory of the spew is such that it ends up in the coiffure of some unsuspecting female.

If you spend 4 hours at a funfair, you will most likely at a maximum, be on the various rides for half an hour. The rest of the time is spent queuing. This is a form of torture.

Instead of waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay detention camp the US army should build a huge funfair and have the inmates queue forever for rides that they will never get on.

They should be made to stand in the hot sun with a melting icecream in their hands, never being able to eat it.

It has to dribble over their knuckles, and splatter on to the toes of their bare feet. They can not clean it up. It has to be very very messy.

In addition every prisoner should be assigned four small children who will pester them for things to eat, and the need for the toilet.

The children who are naturals and need no training in psychological warfare, can fight with each other, complain, throw tantrums, moan, cry, kick and spit.

If the prisoner fails to bring the situation under control then they are demoted to the end of the queue and given a double portion of melting icecream.

If you value your time and your sanity then stay away from funfairs