I should have known. All the evidence was before my eyes. The skeptics have a word for it, apophenia. Apophenia is the experience of seeing patterns or connections in random or meaningless objects or happenings' A stoped clock will tell you the time somebody has died. The angle of an open safety pin is the exact time the atomic bomb was dropped on Japan.

Some people are always on the lookout for signs, and it rules their lives. Some people ignore the signs and just get on with living.

For those that look for signs they are always fearful that something bad will happen if they do not obey what the sign has indicated.

For those that ignore the signs they live to reget that they should have noticed the wet footprints on the marble floor, then they would not have slipped and cracked their skull open.

My wife, you see started by buying these fluffly toys, koala bears, kangaroos, Then it moved on to watching cricket on cable TV, and sitting naked on our leather couch drinking Foster's beer and Castlemains XXXX lager. I ignored the signs.

Then one day on returning from work on the dinner table was a plate of olive oil and balsamic vinegar and on another plate a perfectly cooked pancake.

I knew then and there that she had left me.

She is now working for a bankrupt bank in Iceland. She never did have a sense of geography, and I have never been any good at interperating signs.