These are funny statements I have received in an e-mail. 




Spread the Stupidity
 
 
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to 
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people 
can buy cigarettes at the front.
 
Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, 
and    a diet coke.
 
Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the 
pens to   the counters.
 
Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in 
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
 
Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in 
packages of eight
 
Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the 
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 
'bloodsucking creatures'
 
Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille 
lettering.
 
 
 
EVER WONDER ....
 
 
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
 
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
 
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
 
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
 
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
 
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid 
made with real lemons?
 
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
 
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
 
Why didn't Noah swat those two    mosquitoes?
 
Why do they sterilize the needle for   lethal injections?
 
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why 
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
 
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
 
Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
 
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
 
If flying is so safe,
why do they call the airport the terminal?
 
 
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the 
stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe 
even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to 
smile every once in a while.