Been having a major pitty party here!!!
Even asked God, what have I done to deserve all this shit!
I'm not a bad person, so why can't I get myself out of this damn hole?
WHY WHY WHY!!!

Then Geeps started barking cause someone was here. Looked outside & it was Sherly (landlady). Just who I didn't need to see cause I was a total wreck from earlier & hearing apt . news.
So I walked outside to see what see wanted.
She said hi & how're doing? And that's all it took! I burst into tears & started gasping for breath. No Sh**! I was a royal mess.
To make a long story short: I told her about me moving & why and that I was sorry I let her down about keeping the place up, like we agreed. Told her about problem with apt and when it "might" be ready & that I couldn't afford to rent this place for Nov. & lose that security deposit etc. etc.

This is her reply: "Max! Why do you have yourself stressed out over nothing?" You have not dissappointed me in the least, so quit worring about it!"
" You are the best tennet I have ever had & I knew, from the begining, this place would be too much for you! But ya do need a place that you can handle and be happy in. I know you & your critters love it here but it is just too damn much for you."
" As for staying longer- no problem- I'll prorate rent. I sure as hell ain't going tro throw ya out in the street after all you've done & tried to do."

She gave me a hug & again told me not to worry about such foolishness.
Now our conversation lasted over an hour and we both really got to know each other better. Sherly can be a hard ass, but it really isn't who she is. It's her shell of protection and she loses no sleep over it. When pushed- I can be a hard ass too but it is not my protection cause it isn't a shell. I lose sleep when I have to "act" like a hard ass.
We both now wish we had taken the time to get to know each other better and she also wishes she had let me find the folks to do repairs around here.
Sherly takes a long time to trust anyone. I understand that!!!

But I do worry cause that is just who I am!

So ya see, it's like Sue stated: "It will be alright in the end"