i feel fucking awfull, everything is shit, i have no concentration. i sit and stare and wait all day long. i have no energy no inspiration. im an avid reader but i cant remember the last time i read a novel.

there feels like no point to anything.  i thought that i liked photography but im shit, i have nothing to say. i live in constant fear of everything and everyone. i cant go forward i am constantly looking back.  or at least over my shoulder.

i want to drill my brains out.

im full of spite and anger and i just hate everything right now, nothing makes anysense.

even my own flesh feels wrong. i cant think straight. i waste everything, time, money, health, any little bit of imagination i might have.