As you know I am a seeker and enjoy psychology and improving my life, developing my spirituality. You may have noticed I am much more grateful these days, 'losing' my corporate job was a blessing. I am lifting my vibration to attract better things in to my life. So in effect I am changing my mind!

I've had a book for a couple of years and last week was the right time for me read it to prepare for the '21 Day Conciousness Cleanse', today is Day 3. This was created by Debbie Ford who pulled herself out of a heavily addictive life to be a Consciousness 'guru' before she passed earlier this year after a 11 year battle with cancer at the age of 57. That is one of my 'things' that I want to change, my fear of death, quite a few people I know have died in the last year in their 50s and 60s. I want to accept death as part of life, not be terrified of it as I am now.

It was good to finally learn why I am so inward, as in, I feel safest home, alone, 'allergic' to my family. I don't need people. But at the same time I am missing out of some life because of my fears. Tis interesting how my Mom berates the very traits I have that she, and my Dad, unwittingly created in me with their neglectful style of parenting. It is good to now fully understand how I became what I am and that I perpetuated it (I take responsibility) in my insanity (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results), but it IS very freeing to know that I can change and I have started to do so with guidance from various psychologists, counselors, practitioners of alternative modalities, over the decades, until the ‘penny finally dropped’ in the last couple of years. I DO want to live heaven and I am well on my way now. YAY!!

Twas tough getting in to the strip mall where the realtor office is this morning for work. The parking lot was full as the annual Oro Valley Christmas Parade started around here at 10. I had to 'invent' a parking space at the back of the building (it didn't say 'No Parking' ) and walk around, wending my way through people crowding the sidewalks. Realtors and their customers were having a hard time keeping their appointments. It was finally over 2 hours later.

There were several presents on my desk, some home made caramel corn which I devoured as an early lunch. $25 from one of the 'bitchy' realtors, who I kill with kindness, and $100 from other realtors, and a Poinsettia plant. How wonderful!

I didn't get much sleep last night thinking about the wedding I am doing tomorrow. Such a waste of thought, I did some relaxing meditating around 1:30am and got back to sleep until 5:30am. No doubt my mind will be active again tonight. It's the 'big' one, I'll be mic'd. I'll read my script again tonight. The new bit is the sand ceremony, I explain it to the guests and then do it with the couple, I pour white sand in to a vase, bride pours purple sand on top of it, broom pours black sand on top of that, then they pour the rest of their sand together and I top it with white sand. I hope the table is sturdy and the vases aren't fragile! ;-)