Facetious temperature scale (Celsius)

+ 20 C The Greeks get on their sweaters (if they can find).
+ 15 C The Hawaiians turn on the heat (if they have).
+ 10 C The Americans shake with cold. The Russians plant cucumbers in kitchen gardens.
+ 5 C You can see your breathing. Italian cars don’t start.
+ 2 C The Norwegians go to the beach. The Russians roll down car windows.
0 C The water freezes solid in the USA. The water gets denser in Russia.
- 5 C French cars don’t start.
- 10 C You plan to spend your holiday in Maldives.
- 15 C Your cat sleeps in your bed. The Norwegians get on their sweaters.

- 18 C Householders in New York turn on the heat. The Russians go on a picnic for the last time in the season.
- 20 C American cars don’t start. People in Alaska put on T-shirts.
- 25 C German cars don’t start. The Hawaiians have died out.
- 30 C The politicians talk about homeless people. Your cat sleeps in your pajamas.
- 35 C It’s too cold to think. Japan cars don’t start.
- 40 C You’re planning two-week bath. Swedish
cars dont start.

- 42 C The European public transport doesn’t function. The Russians eat ice cream in the street.

- 45 C The Greeks have died out. The politicians start doing something for homeless people actually.
- 50 C Eyelids freeze together while you blink. People in Alaska close ventilator window in the bathroom

- 60 C White bears move to the South.
- 70 C The Hell has frozen.
- 75 C The Finnish special mission units evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland. The
Russians get on their caps with ear flaps (“ushankas”).

- 80 C The lawyers put their hands into their own pockets.
- 114 C Alcohol has frozen. The Russians are in the blues.
- 273 C Absolute zero,
atomic motion stops.

- 295 C 90% population of the Earth has died out. The Russian football team is the champion of the world…

P.S. My favorite piece is the “- 80”. And I used to eat ice cream in the street only by – 20 C ;-)