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TEASER: "G'day and welcome. I am TEASER, your personal, fully automated,
voice controlled Toilet Emergency Access Settlement Evaluation Robot. In
order to perfectly suit your individual requirements, I would first like to
ask that you provide the necessary information. Are you ready? Please answer
Yes or No."
Passenger: "Yes".
TEASER: "You answered "Yes". Is that correct? Please answer Yes or No."
Passenger: "Yes."
TEASER: "Fine. Now, as a first step, please insert your credit card into the
designated card reader slot indicated by the flashing arrow."
Passenger inserts credit card.
TEASER: "Thank you so much. I will return your credit card after the
transaction is concluded. Shall we proceed? Please answer Yes or No."
Passenger (slightly annoyed) : "Yes."
TEASER: "Fine. Please select the type of transaction: Little Job, Big Job
(Solid), or Big Job (Liquid). Please answer Little Job, Big Job (Solid), or
Big Job (Liquid)."
Passenger: "Big Job (Liquid)."
TEASER: "You answered Big Job (Liquid). Is that correct? Please answer Yes or
No."
Passenger (slightly more annoyed) : "Yes."
TEASER: "Fine. Next, please select the type of settlement. You can choose one
of the following options: Single Transaction, or Volume/Weight-based Bill.
Please select the type of settlement: Single Transaction, or
Volume/Weight-based Bill."
Passenger: "Um...uh... single transaction."
TEASER: "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand your answer. Please select the
type of settlement. You can choose one of the following options: Single
Transaction, or Volume/Weight-based Bill. Please select the type of
settlement: Single Transaction, or Volume/Weight-based Bill."
Passenger: "Single transaction."
TEASER: "You answered Single Transaction. Is that correct? Please answer Yes
or No."
Passenger (in a slightly strained voice ): "Yes."
TEASER: "Fine. By the way, you can also opt to utilise our cost-efficient
Manure-and-More flat rate. Would you like to subscribe to our flat rate now
and immediately start saving costs? Please answer Yes or No."
Passenger (groaning): "No."
TEASER: "I'm not sure if I recorded your answer correctly. I think you
answered No. Is that correct? Please answer Yes or No."
Passenger: "Yes."
TEASER: "Fine. Now, let's address the extras. You can choose one of four
packages. Package 1: toilet paper. Package 2: toilet paper, tissue wipe.
Package 3: toilet paper, water and soap. Package 4: toilet paper, water and
soap, paper towel. Please answer Package 1, Package 2, Package 3 or Package
4."
Passenger (panicking): " Package 4."
TEASER: "Fine. Let me sum it up: You opted for Big Job (Liquid), no flat
rate, and Package 4 including toilet paper, water and soap, and paper towel.
Is that correct? Please answer Yes or No."
Passenger (totally devastated): "Yes, yes, for the love of God, open that
door now."
TEASER: "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand your answer. Let me sum it up:
You opted for Big Job (Liquid), no flat rate, and Package 4 including toilet
paper, water and soap, and paper towel. Is that correct? Please answer Yes
or No."
Passenger (relieved): "Doesn't matter any longer, the problem just took care
of itself."
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