Sharon's blog

TEASER: "G'day and welcome. I am TEASER, your personal, fully automated,
voice controlled Toilet Emergency Access Settlement Evaluation Robot. In
order to perfectly suit your individual requirements, I would first like to
ask that you provide the necessary information. Are you ready? Please answer
Yes or No."

Passenger: "Yes".

TEASER: "You answered "Yes". Is that correct? Please answer Yes or No."

Passenger: "Yes."

TEASER: "Fine. Now, as a first step, please insert your credit card into the
designated card reader slot indicated by the flashing arrow."

Passenger inserts credit card.

TEASER: "Thank you so much. I will return your credit card after the
transaction is concluded. Shall we proceed? Please answer Yes or No."

Passenger (slightly annoyed) : "Yes."

TEASER: "Fine. Please select the type of transaction: Little Job, Big Job
(Solid), or Big Job (Liquid). Please answer Little Job, Big Job (Solid), or
Big Job (Liquid)."

Passenger: "Big Job (Liquid)."

TEASER: "You answered Big Job (Liquid). Is that correct? Please answer Yes or
No."

Passenger (slightly more annoyed) : "Yes."

TEASER: "Fine. Next, please select the type of settlement. You can choose one
of the following options: Single Transaction, or Volume/Weight-based Bill.
Please select the type of settlement: Single Transaction, or
Volume/Weight-based Bill."

Passenger: "Um...uh... single transaction."

TEASER: "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand your answer. Please select the
type of settlement. You can choose one of the following options: Single
Transaction, or Volume/Weight-based Bill. Please select the type of
settlement: Single Transaction, or Volume/Weight-based Bill."

Passenger: "Single transaction."

TEASER: "You answered Single Transaction. Is that correct? Please answer Yes
or No."

Passenger (in a slightly strained voice ): "Yes."

TEASER: "Fine. By the way, you can also opt to utilise our cost-efficient
Manure-and-More flat rate. Would you like to subscribe to our flat rate now
and immediately start saving costs? Please answer Yes or No."

Passenger (groaning): "No."

TEASER: "I'm not sure if I recorded your answer correctly. I think you
answered No. Is that correct? Please answer Yes or No."

Passenger: "Yes."

TEASER: "Fine. Now, let's address the extras. You can choose one of four
packages. Package 1: toilet paper. Package 2: toilet paper, tissue wipe.
Package 3: toilet paper, water and soap. Package 4: toilet paper, water and
soap, paper towel. Please answer Package 1, Package 2, Package 3 or Package
4."

Passenger (panicking): " Package 4."

TEASER: "Fine. Let me sum it up: You opted for Big Job (Liquid), no flat
rate, and Package 4 including toilet paper, water and soap, and paper towel.
Is that correct? Please answer Yes or No."

Passenger (totally devastated): "Yes, yes, for the love of God, open that
door now."

TEASER: "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand your answer. Let me sum it up:
You opted for Big Job (Liquid), no flat rate, and Package 4 including toilet
paper, water and soap, and paper towel. Is that correct? Please answer Yes
or No."

Passenger (relieved): "Doesn't matter any longer, the problem just took care
of itself."

Feels like I'm walking in a funeral procession
The coffin way ahead carries me
However much I want to change direction
Can't break the circle, can't be free

My love lies buried in the gravel
Of a rocky path ahead of me
However much I dig I seem unable
To find it, to set it free

Again I'm walking down this road
To find myself one more time in vain
What lies ahead inside my mind
Seems like a long, long time of pain

I hear the bells
They're calling up the faithful
I lost my faith
Long time ago

Feel like frozen roses on an ice field in the polar night
'Cause I can't get through to you
Feel like an airplane lost in the fog, horizon out of sight
'Cause I can't get through to you
Feel like weeping and laughing at the same time
'Cause I love you and can't get through
Feel like my oldest faded jeans, like a broken rhyme
'Cause I love you and can't get through

Still there's hope left, only time will tell
Won't stop hangin' around, if it gives me hell
Won't stop tryin' to convince you all I feel is true
And I won't stop runnin' around with you
Maybe some day the message will come through

If it takes a thousand years
And if it takes a million tears
If it takes my sleep away
I'll try to turn night into day
If only you would say
I love you

Feel like climbing up a ladder with no rungs to stick to
And I can't get high
Feel like running on a boardwalk stuck with glue
People pass me by
Feel like walking on a tightrope with blinded eyes
Still I don't fall down
Feel like telling myself over and over all the same old lies
They don't change my frown

Still there's hope left, only time will tell
Won't stop hangin' around, if it gives me hell
Won't stop tryin' to convince you all I feel is true
And I won't stop runnin' around with you
Maybe some day the message will come through

If it takes a thousand years
And if it takes a million tears
If it takes my sleep away
I'll try to turn night into day
If only you would say
I love you

The cold breath of the chilly air
Fills your heart with dark despair

November

The gold rush of the summer gone
Nothing's gained and nothing's won

November

The daisy chains of love and peace
Fallen apart piece by piece

November

The sadness in the peoples’ eyes
The loneliness they can't disguise

November

My heart is cold, my eyes are burning
The flames are sinking low
Willpower lost in the desert of my soul
My ears are deafened by the silence
My cries are drowned in falling rain
I'm feeling broken
There ain't no one to hold

A frozen tear runs down my cheek
A frozen shadow on Heartbreak's Peak

November

Last song is over, last chord's been played
Still a melody sticks hauntingly inside my head
Last barrier broken, final frontier in sight
No one around to lend a guiding light

Lost in a forest, trees obscuring view
Feet caught in brush, mouth crying out for you
Every clearing reached looks like the end of my run
But stumbling on again the trees are hiding the sun

The harder you push, the deeper you fall
Nothing's wrong and nothing's right at all
The higher you fly, the harder you crash
And the worms of deterioration are creeping through your flesh

Words are passed, meanings never told
All our fears enshrined so deep inside, how bold
Songs are written, key still not found
So the chase is continuing around and around

The harder you push, the deeper you fall
Nothing's wrong and nothing's right at all
The higher you fly, the harder you crash
And the worms of deterioration are creeping through your flesh

Last song is over, last chord's been played
Still a melody sticks hauntingly inside my head
Last barrier broken, final frontier in sight
No one around to lend a guiding light

The harder you push, the deeper you fall
Nothing's wrong and nothing's right at all
The higher you fly, the harder you crash
With the worms of deterioration still creeping through your flesh

Well, instead of just having this blog sitting around doing nothing useful at all, I thought I might as well post some of my song lyrics.

Enjoy (if applicable ;)