This week i started early.


Since leaving Berlin I've been intent on exploring this Valley I live in -inside out. I've lived here since New Years Eve 1969 so it's no easy feat to discover new things.

Last week I decided it was time to start going out again. I love to dance. I don't wait for a partner. I just jump up when the mood strikes. Sometimes a boy jumps on sometimes not. I don't really care, because I go out secure in the knowledge that I ALWAYS go home alone.


So- this week, one club - four nights- four d.j.'s.

Wed night- Dj Hush was hot. I was dancing.

This anglo dude tries to dock to mothership josie. He asks if he can buy me a beer. I say sure, tho I don't usually let guys buy me drinks. It makes them confused.

He comes back with my Heineken and his Bud- he mumbles something about me drinking an expensive beer. I ignore him.


We dance. it's house music. I'm sorry he has no clue. He grabs my hands and starts swinging them like we're dancing in the schoolyard. That's just so wrong. He's looking at me like he found the prize of the night. i'm cringing inside.

To be polite I sit with him a minute. he admits he is in town for a construction job and living in his car.

uh oh  beer does not equal shelter.

 I tell him i have to go to the ladies room...when I come back I sit somewhere else.

Ten minutes later he comes over and asks if he said anything wrong,

Nope I'm just here to be by myself,thanks for the beer.

I watch as he walks away and out the door. 

I got up and danced my ass off -alone the rest of  that night.

If he shows up again i'll buy him a Bud-just to even the score. No more dances for him.


Thursday night- another dj - not so interesting.

This indian dude comes up to me, sees my cam. Tells me he's a photographer. Then asks how I can be shooting in such low light. When I tell him I'm shooting abstracts he tells me his father is a doctor (huh?). He goes on to say he's smarter than his doctor father because he's studying computer science.

 I tell him a lot of doctors are assholes. Good for him. lol. then he tells me he's a body builder. (Maybe he's seen me at the gym, it's a small town). I take a look at his physique, he's got a nice build but it's a soft as a marshmallow. He has really bad breath too. Handsome but with gum disease that can be smelled a mile away.

Somewhow I get free from him without a dance and the rest of the night goes by.

Friday night

Club dj's spinnin all the tunes I have featured on my blogs now. Mix cd's i got from a dj at the mall he's hot shit. i like sex and power music.

Anyway- this is what i'm looking for- the hottest new tunes ,a packed room. Friday was fun. Two brown boys tried to claim me and I liked them both. The brown boys know where it's at. They'll sex you to the floor but they won't get upset if you won't give your number. They'll just show up again next week and dance harder. I'm looking forward to that. Thanks guys.

Saturday night

Eh , different dj not so hot. lots of brown boys and all the white boys that live here. It's  more hip hop tonight. the brown boys are from out of town. the white boys drive pickups and drink Budweiser. the white boys are fighters not lovers. there's an uneasy alliance between the men in the  club.

It's a bit of  a tense scene. But I work it. I'm just there to dance.

I decide to pick a spot against the wall. for about the 50th time some dude comes and stands right in front of me. i'm getting a little pissed about this. So this time i speak up.

I must be invisible here, i  say into the dude's ear.

No matter where I stand someone stands in front of me. He looks back in shock but intrigued.

Then, he hits me with, oh this is Noho ,so you must be a lesbian.

I say oh, you must be from Springfield. that's where my ex is from.He said that to me before you were born.

He replies not unless he's seventy he didn't.

Haha -we laugh. I  ask him whtat he does for a living. he's an exotic dancer a private one.

He asks if my jewelry is real.

Define real? He couldn't.

He tells me he'll give me a private dance. I tell him exotic dancing does nothing for me.

I tell him let's dance now. he's professional. doesn't think i know how to dance.

I walk away to the bar to get my own beer. He pulls up and tells me he has to go outside to help his drunk friend who's being interviewed by the police-

buy him a drink -i'll pay you when i get back inside.

Remember, I used to be a bartender for 20 years, yeah i'll the buy the dude a drink. hell no!

I get my beer and hit the dance floor.

The tunes thankfully, have gotten better.

He comes back in,sees me dancing and drinking my Heineken.

He looks as I raise it to my lips and asks,did you get my drink? 

 I finish my sip and say nope.

He heads to the bar and I keep dancing.

He comes back with a bottle of beer and stands beside me. (mustn't have had the cash for that mixed drink he asked me to order). 

i'm feelin a groove. i'm swinging it hard. and ignoring him.

he leans over and says - i'm puttin your number in my phone right now.

oh no you're not, i respond.

he takes a look around, i'm dancing in the corner with the visiting latino dj's.

they're big mottherfuckin dudes and they're diggin my vibe.

phone man takes a look around and takes off across the dance floor.

bye bye.

I hang with these tough boys a while longer throwin my double fingers up in the air to-

she got her own house- she got her own car! respect .

i  dance a cross the room and get low and stay low.

 I love the gym and what it's done for me.

I see six guys lower their eyes to the floor after I go down.

They do it veiled, so the girls they're dancing with don't see. more respect. sister mama gets low.

On the way up the guy who's dancing against the wall behind me puts his hands on my hips and pulls me in.

yea , i give a little look to the side, he's more than acceptable. we wind...till the night comes to an end. he was fucking hot.

hey where you from, he asks ? he say,s me too. what street.

never mind baby- you'll see me again.

let me kiss you on the cheek, handsome. night...till next week.

Pimp mama's ON!

ahhhh. happy weekend.

editor's note, rough chop final draft later.