ed note written march 2, 2008

Five days in berlin.

no phone no keyboard

i only had a few pangs of withdrawal.

you went crazy.

you sent my daughter a cell message marked URGENT

while i was up in the air.

Thank God Rose Diamond thinks on her feet.

She did get hurt three times on the slope after that.

I'm mature enough to realize I can't blame you.

But I'm not happy.

You sat at my table and expected me to prepare you a snack.

I was jetlagged and tired from mother worry.

I told you Rose was hurt and you brushed it off.

Told me you had to hold your wife's head over the toilet bowl last night.

said you've seen her drunk before but never like this.


She's going to London in a few days.

You didn't book us a flight anywhere.

I always have to pick up the pieces when she's gone.

we don't relax.

i told you.

Don't call me. I'll call you.

Blackberries are available for rental for overseas trips. I'll be talking to Rose Diamond and Bella next time I go.

I don't know what you're gonna do.

♦ When I decided to leave.

i was sitting at your house when the snowplow guy showed up.

we stay at your house because of your pain.

i hid when Mr Wickland pulled in. He knew my father. i told you i felt like a shit doing that.

you told me i was wonderful to do it. i felt like puking and i wasn't even pregnant then.


You hauled your Jewish ass to my Christian church and I sat on your wife's spot and thought.

When you got back, you told me pack up. I'm heading to Connecticut.

I went home and booked my ticket to Berlin.

My boundaries are purposely set high to compensate for mistakes on my part. But when you talk me over backwards till my skull hits the floor, that's when i bounce back up and i never let you back in.

There's more than one person who can confirm that and they still 'love' me too.

March 23,2008

bebe says:
"Jewish ass to my Christian church"

despite that slur and many other nasty comments. 3 years of loving does not vanish like that