My next ballet performance beckons.

With four ballerinas I've started choreography for a three and a half minute dance. That's a long time in the dance world.

To my great surprise and I picked up the steps pretty quickly - although I was a fraction behind the others throughout. I really need to count.

In croisé, bras bras, feet in fifth we lined up in a diagonal - me in the middle - and chasseé'd to an arabesque à terre, welcoming arms in second.

One posé step forward, demi bras followed by a change of direction ninety degrees.

"Don't forget - pivot on your balls"


Another posé step and a further change of direction ninety degrees and two posé steps to a left leg fondu and right in tendu. Standing up to a port de bras the ladies did some wafting about as our teacher got into fourth position to demonstrate my next move.

One of the ballerinas saw me in the mirrors and laughed at my expression.

"I know what's coming"

Our teacher turned to face me.

"It's a fouetté turn from fourth, isn't it? I can't do that and it's on my worst leg"

"You're going to have to learn"

I attempted my fouetté turn but I was hopelessly off balance and staggered to the side. I've seen waiters drop dishes more elegantly.

"I'll be working on that. It'll be alright on the night, don't worry"

She wasn't convinced - and nor was I.