Ali B's blog/

All we are is memory

Lens flexed specks in momentary repose

Christmas lights that are never taken down..that bird has flown!..that ripple changed!..those clouds dispersed!..We lent the moment immortality, encapsulated the second ,gift wrapped it in borders..set it free amongst the World..

As the moment exhales, it passes forever..Here it remains on ice, the dream of a dream,.........

Our past, dictates our future....

All we are is memory

What looks like clouds

could be distant hills

free form falling

spills

a clotted landscape.

Greeting tones

agree, and raise

symphonic subtlety

then plays

the sequined waters

upon a handshake.

Placed, part by piece

until, believed complete

Sanctions vanish

cold lips manage

words, thought obsolete...

I will paper over cracks, for you...best foot forward..right side to the Sun.."Left a bit,..Left a bit..now hold it!..THERE!.."..look what  we have done!..We have gilded lilies!..Walked the Spectrum..I expect them now to marvel....and look at what we've done!...." Right a bit!...Back a bit!..show me your smile!"..gloss and emboss the transitional while....

Look at what we've done!

Managed to tuck away enough credits, to fly my feet to a Nile-side retreat..all Egrets..and no regrets.Cotton Trees loosed their candy floss feathers, Fez adorned Bellboys handled the bags, the late West day saw the Theban Hills crowned...a corona that flushed at the halls of sleeping Kings...I deserve this "Room Service" week,..for I have worked hard!..I have made my Company, a fortune in gold...This is my reward..a multi-star dinner beneath the Palm's umbra...Orion smiles down as I crack at a lobster...

Away from the squalor I wallow in water.."eternity pools"..not the flow of the "River!"..perish the thought of "toe-dip" in poison!..now, bowl to my lounger to sip on a "Gin"..

A cab back to Karnac..and lost in the wonder!..to revel in avenues ancient and guarded...sight "tickled pink" by the "Sphinx and the Stella" amazed at the play of colossal construction..the over blown tones of hand honed stones..will live with me forever...

I need to ride the Nile's course..just for a while..just to say, "it's been done"...a tick on a check list of a typical tourist..but I am a "purist"..and need to know more!..forget the Feluca..and get me an engine, then motor me down to the poverty store!....

But!..Please!..no "mooring"...keep me at bay!..I wish to observe...just "look" that is all!..my camera is loaded..the zoom is a good one!..so "here" will be fine!..( if I get any closer, they will ask me for money...and I don't want to have to break into a note..not that they would have any change!)..plus,..here we are free from the stench..the cool river air..declares  a "no go zone" for those palls that burn..on the littered banks where the children play.."Brilliant!"..here I can "snap" away unhindered...

Ah!..Fantastic!..those kids have no shoes!...what a picture!..it is going to be a moving portrait!..you know, the sort of thing, that when one shows it to the folks back home..the conversation is punctuated with those sentiments..." Poor, poor things!..we really should do more, you know!"...haha!..pass the "Cucumber Sandwiches"....

Back at the Hotel,..( over another fine dinner)..I thought of those kids, as I scrolled through the frames...a latent sadness hit me for moments,..of an opportunity missed..

If only I had urged the pilot, closer to the shore...I would probably have been able to photograph the blood upon the children's feet....

Ah!..ok!..so, not this time!..but I will be back in the Autumn!..I like it here!..and I'm certain those kids will still be there...

Now!!!...let's have a look at that "Wine List"............

Wind chimes,

with diamond eloquence

murmurs of elegant

filigree thought

now, simmer down

the cobbled way...

She passed by here

Today..

I fancy that

It may be cold

that turns, the moment

into water..

The ochre of

the Daffodils

now but

a blurring sway

She passed by here

Today....

Got a shed full of beer

and a head full of treason

a vinegar mien

and a "Fuck you"

tattoo

got a short fuse

and a weatherproof

lighter

I'm sorry!

what is it

you want me to do?

I breathe so deeply

I can taste.

So far away is emptiness

My dreams, are "will"

not, mere "escapes"

where seconds

are now centuries.

A Robin, sang by lamplight

unperturbed by herald evening's

gathering throng

as if gloom could be dispersed

by an,almost, fragrant burst

of poignant song.

The carriage clocks chime

now the hour has spoken

it ceases to be

Oh! to placate those

untouchable hands

of fortune and destiny

The ears had strained

to hear the melody..

.but it was there..

Neither malady nor tragedy

could ensnare

the lilting purity..

No malignant design

would consign this rarity

to a foreign field...

Clearer and then..

clearer still..

The will, each note may wield,

could yet create another faith,

then,

steal away, the all but spent,

listening......

and healed....

This piece was lent life..by a documentary,..a one off incidental, that shone the briefest beam upon a small community,that walked their ways beneath the shadow of a mountain..health and wealth a fickle thing..a love/hate relationship with "outsiders"..on one hand bringing revenue..on the other disorder..the Summer months all car horns..and barking dogs..to the backdrop of "till slams"

When Winter cracked it's icy whip..and nailed shut, the doors and windows,..no-one moved..save this one man...who was driven by the changing hues ,that the wheeling year could summon in

His passion was in painting..his need to exorcise the itch, was such, that he would forgo the better part of life..to wander among the hanging crags..lost within his rapture..

His was to capture all he could..to nail down the vapid presence that stole among the Passes..

His wife, fell ill.....yet still he went..a rabid thirst..a need..... a maddened medium of abstract addiction...haunted and laughing.. as sanity slipped...

As the first plumes of Spring crept over the walls and danced in the borders....his wife passed away.......

This is His lament....

No smile through weather-hair

to greet his return.

The front door closed

not always then

but always now

No better home was there to share

perhaps, then, not always known

not taken in

but always now.

Under the Buzzard's wing

above the Heather's stretch

a gaze falls into violet blue

a stray thought burns a hole in bliss

for lost company in solitude

I have to list this in descending order, for motion dictates that this be the case..

I have tried to "step away" from standard..I mean, we have all slipped on "soap",..for example..

So it is really a small compendium of the momentary loss of equilibrium given favor by the "slightly unusual"

Coming in at No5..is "Hedgehog Shit"..Now , one of these little spiky fun-balls,  frequents the borders of the back garden...and, most welcome, he is too,..However  come the Autumn  when he gets wasted on fermenting fruit..( and blackberries in particular)..he has a nasty habit of losing control of his lower bowel,...and curling one up in the middle of the path..Should be easy to see, right?...wrong!...Dark Mornings,..Dark Paths..Dark shit...need I say more?..

No4..."Toys"  ( Including Robots,Teddy bears, model Tractors...once, a replica "Lighthouse"..plastic Horses,.. midget Metal Aircraft,..who's tails stick in your heel....)..I have worked as a cleaner,..polishing the halls of the "Great and The Good"..having said that,..the "Great and The Good"..seem to bring fiendish children into the World....who's soul purpose in life,..is to attack strangers, who have invaded their space, with a  strategically  placed split bag of marbles...NEVER back out of a room with a hoover!..trust me on this...Many is the time, Ive ended up in a heap..clutching my ankle...with a dribbling child, giggling, inches from my face...

"Oh"..is he playing again!"..smile the coiffured coffee toting Managers of the Mansion..."Yes !..he is!..bless him!"..I fake, through false smiles, gritted teeth...and swollen joints...My internal musing, is one of a slightly scientific bent..often wondering just how hard I would have to throw that kiddy..to break those exquisite Patio Doors....

No3.."Plastic Bags"...Christ!..these are unassuming "amble assassins"...they almost lay in wait..particularly in wind tunnel alleyways....One walks towards them...there, are in fact, a couple,...swirling gracefully withing the grips of gentle kerb-side vortex...an almost "Siren" like beauty in their movement..particularly when met by the neon fall of orange street lamps...

I'm close to them now,..and so far, they haven't noticed me..being lost in their motion upon currents unknown...if I stick to the shadows..I may get away with it..I have my head lowered..and my hands in my pockets..and I'm veering away from their street dancing presence..."Fuck!..They've seen me!...and they slow their waltz.....I'm level with them now!..If I break into a run...my wake will send the air into spasm...and that is just asking for trouble!..I may as well stand there and point at them,...saying,.." Come on then!..Let's be 'avin yer!!"......so I keep my cool,...my forward motion unchecked...and I'm past them...I'm free!....I'm.....flat on my face on the pavement!!!!......

Those two were decoys!...I had not noticed a third..who had been tracking me for, how long, Im not sure..but he caught me on my blind side..managed to work himself over my left shoe...and bring me Earthwards..as I lay there,  in an embarrassed silence...with a ripped jean knee..and a well grazed hand...my vision returns to the original pair of "bags"...they are jigging an clapping!..now joined by the third....

No2.."Winter Mud"..Ok!..not "unusual",..but specific,..peculiar to the season..a nasty grease of total splay,that litters on those waterside trails...A humiliating humus of gripping slop that that sucks at the Spirit as well as the shoes,..and nine times out of ten, you have an audience.  a gleeful group that hide their smiles beneath mitten-ed fingers..as you thrash for some traction like a drunken Foal..."Hey!..Good Morning!..Haha!..Yep!..'tis a bit slippy!..but I will be OK!..hope you guys aren't in a rush!.....Yeah!..Nice One!..they WERE clean on this morning!...and hahaha!.."You!"...I HAVE got a washing machine that works!..you cheeky young scamp!..Now!..will you stop taking the piss,...and call the Fire Brigade!...Thanx!"....

Crashing in at No1.."Banana Skin"..."WHAT?" I hear you cry!..this is cliche unbound!..this is "Cartoon!"..this exists only in the places of children's TV!...........if only it did........if only it did.......

This is my top choice, because of its utter crapness!....flying in with a blush factor ten fall..( I actually had to stop typing then,..and sat for a moment with my head in my hands...remembering....) the briefest digression will allow me to tell of another "Cartoon" moment..there is a moment in every "smash your face in with frying pans and fly-swats" Cartoon,...where some poor unfortunate creature, steps on a rake..bringing it crashing against the forehead,...when I was younger..( much younger...honestly..)..I decided to see if this was, in fact, achievable,...so I set the rake at its required angle...took ten paces back...and ran at the thing as fast as I could, leaping at last, to land on the blade with both feet..........it works...I have a scar...

Sorry!..back to the "Banana" ride...It was outside a warehouse, where I was unloading a vehicle..I had finished, and my shift was at an end...there was the usual banter about football and beer..and cheery farewell- ing!..One always wants to leave the working week on a high note..so, as we locked up...we joked and chuckled..being fools for the break...with mates in attendance..I turned to leave...and...Wow!!..for a moment, I was horizontal, circa 2 feet(?) off the ground..I remember, in that split second, how dirty the light fittings, above me were...having never seen them from this angle....

It was a thing of such suddenness, that its impact, failed to hurt..I simply think that my brain, could not compute what was happening..( it was, after all,..just starting it's own "weekend break"...one that lasts for at least THREE days,...curiously enough..)...any way, my mates, being true mates....just lost it completely..one of them had to run to the toilet clutching his groin...

The thing is...THIS was now my legacy..nothing that I would do, from now on, would detract from the fact, that I was now "Banana Man".....

Never heard the last of it...

In fact, one of the lads brought me in a couple of Bananas at Christmas....." Oh Mate!..You aren't still working THAT one are you?"...I quipped, trying not to pull the scab off the thing...

"No, not at all!...he said,..."This is a genuine Christmas Present for you!"....

"But!...its a couple of Bananas!..I mean I don't want to appear ungrateful!..but,..well...you know!..its a little odd!"

"Well!, he, said,.." I know you are getting a little older,....so "N" has got you a pipe!...I thought I would get you a pair of slippers...."

wanker