Just how do you deal with twats who come up to you in the street and tell you something you already know in a way that suggests that you don't? I was standing outside a pub in Totterdown in Bristol on a sunny afternoon (the two real girls I was with wanted a fag). After placing his hand on one of the girl's bottoms he comes straight up to me and says, 'Are you a man dressed as a woman?' What do you say? I said, 'Are you a man dressed as a man?'. The guy realised we had a foot in mouth situation here and instead of making his excuses and fucking off, he digs in. 'I have an eyesight condition', as he fiddles with his glasses. 'So do I', I said. I wear glasses too, though not at that moment. I said, 'Would you think it was acceptable for me to walk up to you and ask you if you were a man with a wonky eye? 'Some of my friends are transvestites' he said, as if this somehow excused his bad manners. 'Some of mine are too', I said, followed by, 'Would you like a spade, so you can dig yourself a little deeper? I then quizzed him on the bum touching issue, which he vigorously denied. At this point, one of my lady friends butted in and made the old familiar suggestion. Probably just as well as I was spoiling for a good old row. What is the matter with people? Whatever happened to good manners?
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