Bernard has an arsenal in his house
He gazes out the window for a mouse
He shoots over its head so
it gets scared but isn't dead
But carefully walk along his front path
Or you'll be the victim of his wrath
He dislikes strangers with a passion
Thus his bullits he doesn't ration
See him peep behind his curtain!
He's a caution that's for certain
Still, he protects those he loves
Cats, and pigeons, or doves

Five minutes more or less, to get back at you as I'd said. This was obviously before you grew your beard, or wore glasses. But you're a ginger & you dyed your hair! Shame on you!