MacKey's blog ^pro

lately i've been trying to shoot some photos. been composing my images, been wanting it to work, but alas! i've ended up deleting every single shot. maybe i'm just not in a creative cycle. or maybe i think too much about composition and the whole process. usually i just shoot what i see and my subconsciousness feel (in some odd way). so maybe lately deep down i've been in a state of just drifting by, which would make sense. almost a numb state. not happy, nor depressed, hence no creativeness (and that rhymed!). so even if i see things i think will look good in a picture, then for some reason, it comes out like... crap! so basically my eyes are not the seeing part in my photos.

ah! my sight will return.

yes indeed, i am revising my stream and i hope you will like the new (old) reedited works :-)

things i want
                to tell you
    i have        to show you
on my knees
                in front of you

some things
    change
            so naturally
                words once spoken
            change meaning
    gradually
        in silence

i
       was once
            queen
        of nonexistence
i
                once reigned
            over the land of fabrication
i
        once took many prisoners
    but only one slave
                    me

love left
    a stain
                    on your white
                        silk sheets
        red
                    like a fresh cut
         blood
                turn dark when left alone
    love
            dripped
       like acid
                    down your trembling legs
                    burned a hole in the ground
            buried you
                    alive
                                forcing itself
                                        on you
                    smothering you
                                to mute your screams

sometimes i cry
never in front of others
sometimes i put on a mask when i'm among strangers
people can't tell
i think they're afraid to take a hard look
afraid to look too deep
i hold myself back
sometimes i'm like a drug
i enter your blood too fast and it's a rush
either good or bad
i can't stand the sight of blood
you never know how you'll react
when you see a loved one lying on the ground injured and unconscious
i do and i hope you never will
sometimes i just try too hard
sometimes it's like pulling teeth with me
i like pineapple
and can eat it with almost anything
i just love spooning

i have two small tattoos
i once wanted one covering my back
still kind of do
piercings have also crossed my mind
when i was seven i mingled blood with a friend
i haven't seen him since i was nine
i used to draw a lot
especially on the tables at school
multitasking is not my strength
i like to devote all my attention to one thing at the time
i was born a redhead
i sleep like a starfish
maybe one day i'll run a marathon like my brother
i love to travel
i used to read a lot as a kid
i was always a member of a book club
my dad would always bring me to the library
and i loved it
i read English faster than my native language

i love to ask why
i'll make your wildest dreams come true
i'll always stand by your side
i'm a loyal friend
and the perfect lover
i love to dance and sway to the music
i love summer rain
i wanted to play the saxophone
but settled on the guitar. later sold it. never played it
i don't come from a home with a piano
a lot got lost with every move. not just my possessions
i can get furious. raise my voice and slam doors in frustration
i wish i could use my voice as a creative outlet. it has much more power
i'm very tactile. most take me for aloof
i'm not impressed by materialism

i don't consume dairy products. neither will my kids
i'm not much for traditions. but then again
if you wear black i'll wear red
i love watching Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin movies
i'm an air sign and the sky is my limit
my grandfather was Knight of Dannebrog
he was a Gendarme and survived KZ Neuengamme
i never knew him, but i know he lives on in my mother
i want to learn sign language
after twenty-nine years i'm finally growing up
i have magnificent teeth
and long fingers (if i was a man i'd make women beg for more)
not everyone gets my humor
i'd never do it in the dark
my two all time favorite songs both have the sentence 'by your side'

i once wanted to be a pilot
i've always been a loner
i don't really understand my creativity
physical exhaustion keeps me calm
i love the night
and early morning walks
i quit University
growing up is the most time-consuming and painful process
and it never ends, it's life and i love it
i want to learn Arabic
i too dream of world peace
and that's where it all begins...
in our heads

i grew up with Sesame Street, in German
i loved The Muppet Show. Kermit was my favorite and i always wanted him to stand up to Miss Piggy
i had a crush on my brother's best friend. we were eleven years apart. i was four
boys have never interested me. men however
i still envy my brother's blonde curls
i'm a handful
i only sing when no one else is around
i could read and write before i started school. i was five when i started elementary school. i was never intellectually stimulated. being smart isn't a guarantee of success
i have neglected my artistic and intellectual talents
i have always wanted to play the piano
i'm spoiled rotten
i used to have five piercings in my ears

i'm not religious, but i believe
i love to just watch people
i practice Qigong
i love Danish design
i only use beeswax candles
i hate when people just disappear without a word
i believe the human mind is incredibly powerful and resourceful. i'm still trying to pull out that inner strength i know i possess
i'm a charmer, but i don't know it
i love to be barefoot
i don't use much makeup or jewellery
i have a few quirks
i'm much more like my father than i like to admit
i'm extremely open-minded
i don't drink coffee, i don't like it
eight years ago i had a second degree burn on half my back and shoulders. it was motherfucking painful
i'm scared shitless of spiders
i once shaved off all my hair on my head

i'm strong. so sensitive
i'm stubborn
mischievous
trouble
i love to provoke
i have blonde moments
i'm a romantic
i think too much. feel even more
i suck at tests unless it's a free interpretation
i was lazy in school
i lost my two best friends when my parents decided to move "back home". i still think about them
i used to draw
i wish i knew my brother better
i used to take riding lesson (don't even go there boys!)
i love to be in the ocean when it rains
i always fall asleep in cars
when i sneeze it sounds like i shoot aliens with a laser gun

i'm an Aquarius, whatever that means
i'm a daydreamer, but never detailed
i have a temper. i prefer to call it passionate
my family really know very little about me
i eat a clove of garlic every day
i'm very particular about organic/natural personal and household products. i read every label
i skipped seventh grade
i don't think or dream in my native language, and prefer not to express myself in it
in fourth grade i was once tied to a chair during recess and i have liked it ever since
when i was fourteen i locked myself up in my room for a year
i can be loud, but usually i'm quiet
i have wild/messy hair
i need a stern hand

smells i love...

asphalt after a rain shower on a summer's day
a rose garden
fresh fruit and vegetables
the salty ocean air in summer
newly mown grass
elderflowers
babies
the forest on a humid fall day
oranges with cloves
books
kittens


sounds i love...

thunder
rain
laughter
the waves crashing against the shore
heartbeat
the wind in the grass
sex
manually driven lawnmowers
babies learning to talk
music
echoes


things i love to touch and feel...

water
the wind
warm sand
the inside of sea shells
silk
skin
leather
a strong back
stomach
fingers through hair
fur
down comforters
glass
steel
thighs
ass
lips
rose petals
kittens