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I just nearly shot myself in the bloody head.

My doctor told me last year that I can't smoke cigarettes anymore but he reckoned that electronic cigarettes called vapourisers are alright. They consist of a lithium battery compartment that you charge up from a USB on your PC and an atomiser that you screw onto the end. You put a nicotine liquid into the atomiser and the battery heats up an electric coil so you get the nicotine without the problems you might have with proper cigarettes.

There's a picture of one at the top.

So I'm tapping away at the keyboard and puffing on the E-Cig. I stop for a bit and rest my elbows on my desk. Take the E-Cig out of my mouth and I'm holding it pointing over my left shoulder. Next thing the battery compartment goes off like a bomb. The steel sides of the battery compartment contained it but the recoil left a dent in my desktop.

The atomiser blew a hole in my living room ceiling and embedded itself in my wooden bedroom floor. I had to stumble upstairs and flatten out the lump it's left up there. If it'd still been in my mouth I'd have blown the top of my head off.

I reckon this is Gods' way of telling me to stop smoking entirely and I think I'll take his advice.