This is a joke right. And it was prompted by a blog Jenny posted the other day about a husband in a supermarket.

This is just a joke, believe me. It never really happened. Honest.

Wife and I were trying to arrange the wedding. The priest says he'll perform the ceremony but only on the condition that we abstain from any sexual activity until after we're married. We agreed but, it's very difficult to lie next to somebody in their sexy stockings night after night and not be able to do anything about it.

A couple of increasingly frustrating weeks go by. Then one afternoon she's bending over the freezer. Poking about for beefburgers or something I suppose. The sight of her rounded hips sticking into the air was just too much. I lifted her skirt and began to do the thing that lovers often do.

I was moaning and groaning. She was doing a bit of squealing. After a bit I turned her over and, with her head on a frozen cabbage, pulled her top down so I could fondle her upper body girl parts. It was brilliant.

We're now banned from the frozen food department of our local supermarket.

Although, I understand the security camera video tapes are still selling for a tenner a go.

And yes, that is Lucija (my wife) in the picture at the top. It was taken about twenty years ago but she's not changed too very much. Just as beautiful in my eyes anyway.