There's been some interchange between Max and I on my last two blogs about animals so I thought I'd tell this tale. tale of two tails really.

About ten years ago when the kiddies were staying at their mums, it was a warm night. About two in the morning I decided to go and sit on the front wall to drink my scotch and have a smoke. A couple of hundred metres to my right and across the road there was this cat sat in front of an SUV. "Pussy, pussy, pussy" I says. Cat just sits there and looks at me. I'm not wandering around the road in the middle of the night with a glass in my hand. That would be undignified. So, I went back into the house.

The next morning I'm going down to the shops and I pass the SUV. That cats head was higher than the number plate which would have made it over two feet high at the head when it was sitting down..........Probably best I didn't go over there to fuss it.

There'd been rumours of a black panther living in the woods near my town for some time. Then somebody reported having seen it strolling over the bridge and heading south.

A bit after that there were cattle being attacked in the area around Delamere forest. Sheep had been killed too and partially eaten. A friend of mine at the time who I shall call Paul Mk.2 was working as a security guard and his company sent him off to patrol the forest. Sort of frighten off the panther. They gave him a torch to protect himself with. He reckoned he'd add a baseball bat to his armoury just in case.

He had a shed to sit in and once every hour or so he was supposed to wander around and his manly aroma would frighten off the panther. He used to ring me up late at night on his portable telephone and tell me what he was up to. What the point of that was I don't know. If something came leaping out of the undergrowth at him I'd be thirty miles away.

Frankly I thought it was hilarious. In the end I took pity on him and lent him my Browning and some ammo.

After a couple of weeks the attacks near Delamere stopped and then started up in Yorkshire which is a couple of hundred miles away. I consider it quite possible that Paul blundering about in the forest with his torch and his manly aroma just p*ssed it off and it wandered away to quieter climes.

I like cats. Big cats or small cats.

You must watch this video, it's absolutely brilliant.........although I do think lions are a bit scary.